Tarot in Action

I went back to my favorite coffee shop, the one from The Crone’s Throne, tonight to write this. As I set down my computer with a partial draft of this post someone at the table next to me asked if I wanted a tarot reading. One card for $5. As I was writing Tarot 101 I couldn’t resist. She combined tarot and astrology and pulled the Temperance card for me. The reading was about my PSLF student loan forgiveness. She said be patient. Then, because readers are typically generous and curious people, she pulled some more clarifying cards. The Ace of Wands—meaning action will be happening soon. In the light of Temperance, it hints that being patient will be what leads to the action and new beginning in the PSLF process. Then the Queen of Pentacles—total inward mastery of material things. So hopefully those loans will get paid off y’all.

What Tarot is Not

Before I go further in explaining the tarot and where those meanings came from, let’s get some stuff out of the way.

Q: Is tarot satanic?

A: No! Tarot is not related to any religious practice. It is not “evil,” or satanic, or anti-Christian. It started as a card game in Italy in the 1500s and spread to Europe. It was only in the 1700s that Freemasons and French occultists made unsubstantiated claims about the history and meaning. This is where the “evil” idea came from. Tarot fell out of favor and resurfaced in the 1900s in France, where it is still used in card games. But the false history put forward in the 1700s still circulates and has led to its use in fortune telling.

Q: Does tarot predict the future?

A: No! It may feel like this for several reasons that I will go into in a separate post. For those with familiarity with Greek Mythology, it predicts the future in the way that the Oracle at Delphi does. Those who believe in the predictive power may suffer the same fate as the ancient Greeks who put too much faith in the Oracle’s prophecies. IYKYK.

Q: Isn’t it just cold reading of the person?

A: No! There is a real structure for the 78 cards with generally recognized meanings. Each reader and deck has small tweaks to the meanings, but overall an Ace of Wands is an Ace of Wands—new inspiration, passions, creativity, boldness, etc.

Major and Minor Arcana

What do I mean by each card having a specific meaning? Well, there are 78 cards in a traditional tarot deck. 22 are in the Major Arcana and 56 are in the Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana represents archetypes and big life themes, and the Minor Arcana represents more day-to-day themes. What do I mean by that? Well, The Fool is #0 in the Major Arcana. It represents the very beginning of a journey and taking a leap of faith into the unknown. Generally, the beginning of a major life change. Whereas the Minor Arcana Ace of Wands is also “the beginning” of something, but it is more about the inspiration and passion to start something new. So, the Fool is actually taking the leap into something new, while the Ace of Wands is the inspiration or courage behind the new start.

The Minor Arcana is made up of 4 suits ranging from Ace to King (can you see how it was the basis of modern playing cards?). The suits are Wands (fire, creativity, passion, action), Cups (water, emotions, intuition, love), Swords (air, thought, communication, clarity), and Pentacles (earth, material matters, stability, work). Each number symbolizes something different as well. Aces are new beginnings, fives are conflict, tens are completion. Then there are the court cards. These can represent actual people or the following ideas. Pages—curiosity, learning, emerging development. Knights—action, pursuit, movement. Queens—emotional maturity and internal mastery. Kings—authority, leadership, outward mastery. Combine the meaning of the number or court card with the suit, and you can see how the meanings automatically become more nuanced.

Permutations

So there are 78 cards with 78 distinct meanings. To make things even more fun, a lot of people read “reversals” which is a slightly different meaning if the card is upside down. So that is 156 different card meanings. If you take into account that many readings are at least 3 cards (Past Present Future is the most common) that is potentially 3,723,720 different combinations of cards. You will likely never get the same reading twice. That many combinations of major life themes and day-to-day themes makes for a rich tapestry of symbology to pull from. And for our Crone Moon Tarot 6 card pulls there are 13,076,423,680,320 different combinations.

But wait! It isn’t just combinations. It is permutations. Order matters. When I mentioned Past Present Future and Crone Moon Tarot, I’m talking about spreads. Spreads can be as simple as one card up to using all the cards in the deck (I’ve heard of it but have no desire to ever do it). I mentioned the Past, Present, Future spread above. Y’all have seen my 6 Card Crone Moon Spread (I made that one up), and another common one is the Celtic Cross 10 card spread.

Putting it All Together

Well, if each card has a meaning how do you put together multiple cards? Why—that is the art of tarot! You use the spread, the question, the card meanings, how they are in relation to each other in the spread, all to put together a coherent story. This is the part that I love. It stretches my very literal “left brain” self and forces me to speak in the language of symbols.

Tarot and Medicine

And you know what? The art of tarot is a lot like the art of medicine. Yes, each symptom, lab finding, etc has specific meanings, but being able to put it all together in a coherent story is how you help someone. The better you get at it the more you do this subconsciously. Tarot readers would call it intuitively. In medicine you get to the point where you notice a raised eyebrow and realize you have to dig deeper to get a different diagnosis, or you see the scraped toe of a shoe and realize the person who came in for a fall actually has foot drop (nerve is damaged and their toe drags on the ground). These small observations in medicine are what give it the nuance and the art. Same thing with the symbols in the tarot—just a different realm.

So, hopefully anyone reading this who is skeptical of tarot has a little more background on the system. And anyone wondering why a doctor reads tarot now understands a little more about the “diagnostic challenge” it presents and the fun way it twists a logical and scientific brain around. Oh—and I’m currently reading a book called the neuroscience of tarot written by a neuroscientist who explains the brain circuits involved in symbol and pattern recognition. Maybe if I ever finish it, I can share the Cliff Notes with you.

Challenge

If you have a deck I challenge you to ask yourself a question and pull a card for yourself right now.

If you don’t have a deck, I challenge you to type “Give me a random tarot card” into google and see what it gives you. When I did it, it gave me The Star (Upright). Kind of cool for a wrap-up here. The Star is the first light after a major life upheaval and gives clarity and hope.

What card did you draw and what does it mean to you?

Does any of this change how you think about tarot?

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

“Point your feet to where you wanna go. Okay? And then you just catch yourself before you fall.”

-Alberto from Luca (Disney 2021)

“Falls are the leading cause of death for adults over the age of 70. For example Alice from the Brady Bunch, Kurt Vonnegut, and”

BOOM

Down I went. Eight months pregnant. In the middle of a talk about falls at a scientific conference.

I was told to watch out for the legs of the screen for the projector. I’d laughed. I was invincible.

I was in a room full of doctors. Only the one in the front row popped up—immediately with a look of fear on her face. But I was young. I popped up too. Before she could get to me, I’d picked up where I left off.

…”William D. Bechill, the US’s first Commissioner on Aging. So, you can see, knowing about falls and aging isn’t enough to prevent falls.”

Nervous chuckles from the audience

I realized I needed to say something.

“I’m okay. I’m lucky my only injury is my pride.”

More nervous chuckles and I plowed ahead.

The show must go on.

And yes, I was lucky. It could have been a disaster. I could have landed on the baby. I could have stretched out my hand to catch myself and broken my wrist. But youth and luck was on my side.

My patients often aren’t as lucky. Falls are the number one cause of accidental death in people over the age of 70—one third of the deaths as a matter of fact. And that leaves out the disability that comes in their wake. Hip fractures don’t always kill you (quickly). But about a quarter of people who fall, break a hip, and get surgery within 24 hours still die within a year. Almost three quarters of those who don’t get surgery are dead within a year. You could argue that’s because those who don’t get surgery are sicker, but that is missing the point. A shit ton of people who fall and fracture a hip die within a year.

Why aren’t we talking about this more?

I mean, we know that gait speed predicts mortality in people over the age of 65, but there is no specific place to record that in the medical chart and most clinicians don’t even know gait speed is a thing let alone measure it.

Okay. This Crone is getting off her soap box. I’m here today to talk about what we can do to prevent falls. There is tons of good evidence out there on what we can do to prevent such horrible outcomes.

#1—Talk about it in medical visits. Doctors don’t bring it up for a variety of reasons. Preventative interventions often fall to the wayside when there are other medical problems to address. Also, most people don’t have a lot of training in falls. Oh, and the billing for falls is a joke. Check out the insane number and type of crazy ICD 10 (billing) codes for falls. Note they are all about fall related injuries—not prevention. My favorite are falls from a cliff and falls from scaffolding. How often are those used? Why else don’t we talk about falls? Patients don’t bring it up because they don’t think it is a medical problem. They don’t realize that tripping causing them to accidentally sit in a chair is a fall. They are terrified they will lose their independence if they admit to falling. Doctors and patients seem to have an unspoken mutual agreement that we will medically ignore falls until they are an emergency.

Doctors love guidelines. Give us a good algorithm or decision tree and tell us it is evidence based and we will take it as gospel.

Guess what? We have a guideline for fall prevention, and I’m going to let you in on it. Now you know the way we should be thinking about falls.

It all starts by asking everyone over the age of 65 if they have fallen. Not just asking, acting on what we find out.

Introducing the STEADI Guidelines from the CDC. These guidelines were here BEFORE the new CDC and their dismantling of scientific evidence. Falls aren’t scandalous. It is just our lack of attention to them that is scandalous.

STEADI stands for Stopping Elderly Accidents, Deaths & Injuries. I’ll forgive the use of the word “Elderly” here because it makes a better acronym than “Older Adult”. SOAADI doesn’t have the same ring to it.

The website has tons of information for clinicians and for patients here. I’m going to post my reproduction of the flowchart from the guideline for you.

What does all of that mean? It means that we need to ask more about falls, and when we find out someone has fallen (not just the dramatic ones to the ground, but the slips, the catching yourself on the furniture, etc) we need to do something about it.

First ask more questions. Then dive deep. Each of the points in the chart can be hours of lectures to trainees. Here are my snarky ways to remember what needs to be done if you are falling.

1. Stop the don’t ask don’t tell. Let’s dive deep about your falls.

2. Age doesn’t cause falls. Meds do. Talk to your prescriber about which ones.

3. Weebles Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down—your gait & balance should be checked.

4. Check ‘ya head—is there a neurologic problem and if you fell, a bleed?

5. I can see nearly now—check vision, be careful with new glasses, remove cataracts

6. Asking for help isn’t weak—but your legs may be. Let’s look.

7. Don’t go breaking my heart (or your hip). Get your heart checked out.

8. Stand up under pressure. Does your blood pressure drop when you stand?

9. Watch out for slippers, they tell you what you’ll do. Check your shoes and your feet.

10. Clean up your act, ‘ya filthy animal. Have a home safety assessment.

That’s a lot. What’s a crone to do if they are worried about falling?

Make sure you talk to your doctor about it. Falls are a medical problem. Many are preventable, and we CAN do something about it. Your doctor will evaluate you and depending on what they find, they could suggest medication changes, balance exercises, cataract surgery, blood pressure or cardiac interventions, footwear changes or referrals to podiatry, physical, occupational, or vestibular therapy, home safety assessments, assistive devices, and general education. There is no one size fits all intervention for falls and seemingly small changes can make a big difference.

If I could share one thing about falls with my fellow crones, it is this: Break the silence. If you or a loved one are falling, don’t hide it. Falls don’t make you old, but they do have the potential to make you lose your independence or even your life.

Anyone can fall. I fell as a pregnant young crone. I was distracted, my center of gravity was off with an 8-month pregnant belly, and there was an environmental hazard with the screen stand. Another crone could fall because their diabetes medications are too strong, they got new multifocal glasses, they have a bum knee, or a new heart problem. Talk to your doctor. By working together, you can greatly reduce your risk of falls and injuries.

And remember, if you are falling, suck it up buttercup and ask for help. Pride goeth before a fall.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

Why the Crone Moon? Well, the Crone Moon, aka last quarter moon, falls exactly halfway between the full moon and the new moon. It is half illuminated and half dark. From this liminal space, the light continues its retreat. The crone embraces this time of growing darkness. She knows this is where the real work happens.

New here? The full explainer of moon science, phases, and symbolism and of the crone moon tarot spread lives here.

The Moon in Taurus

My bad, y’all. I thought this last quarter moon was going to be in Virgo. I tried to harness that Virgo thoroughness and double checked. Turns out this month’s Crone Moon is in Taurus. Crones know when to admit they made a mistake.

So, let’s talk about Taurus.

Taurus’s energy is stable. It seeks beauty and comfort. The moon is exalted in Taurus. The sign’s calm steady energy gives the moon’s emotional and intuitive nature space to find its center and thrive. Taurus energy may find us stubbornly refusing to do our inner work. But let’s take the bull by the horns and take advantage of the breathing room and comfort Taurus brings instead.

What’s coming

New Moon in Leo — August 12 Leo is all about being seen. But the joke is on you, crones. Not only can you not see the moon in the sky, but it is also the day of a total solar eclipse. Let’s get ready for some transformation in how we see ourselves and others.

Full Moon in Pisces — August 28 This full moon focuses awareness on emotions, compassion, and spirituality. Like all full moons, it is a time for release. This moon is also aligned with an eclipse—a partial lunar eclipse. This is likely to amplify those emotions. Buckle your seatbelts, crones.

Next Crone Moon in Gemini—September 4 I’m excited for this one because my moon is in Gemini. Gemini moons are where we see the collision of thinking and feeling. Lots of rationalization of feelings going on folks, but hey? Isn’t that good for our self-reflection tarot/thought exercise of a Crone Moon Tarot Pull?

A Note on Tarot

Tarot is for entertainment and self-reflection. It does not predict the future or tell your fortune. I invite you to look at the pictures and symbols on the cards and exercise your brain to put them together in a way that is meaningful to you. Skeptics welcome.

The Deck

Today, I am using The Wild Unknown Archetypes Oracle Deck by Kim Krans.

As you saw in my last post, Refusing to Fight, I’ve been thinking a lot about archetypes lately. That particular post was about the archetype of strength, but the Jungian idea of archetypes has caught my fancy. Perhaps that is because the crone is one of the most commonly recognized archetypes—and this whole Substack is organized around the concept of the crone.

One note, this is an oracle deck, not a tarot deck. Each card has different images that whole their own meanings and are not as prescriptive as the meanings of tarot cards. Oracle decks come with guidebooks that tell you what the creator intended for each image, but there is so much more than what is on the page. I think oracle readings can be much more personal because the pictures mean something different to everyone.

This particular deck has four different kinds of cards: The Selves, The Places, The Tools, and The Initiations. As you can guess these cards capture different commonly held ideas or archetypes that impact multiple areas of our lives. And one of the coolest parts is the cards are round. Fun!

Let’s have some fun and see what we can learn from these unique cards this month.

Now on to Our Reading

What to Celebrate: The Heart Reversed

This card is a reminder to celebrate the light of the last moon cycle. What did it bring that is worth honoring before we retreat further into the darkness of the crone moon?

It is kind of disconcerting to see The Heart reversed as something to celebrate, no?

In this deck, The Heart is considered a place. It could be a physical space or a metaphorical one. Where are you when your heart sings? Celebrating a place makes sense in light of Taurus. Taurus loves comfy places. The card even alludes to it as the primary image is a nest. Taurus likes to find its home and then settle in or “nest.”

But it is reversed. Perhaps we have gotten out of our comfort zone over the past cycle. In our reading from last month we were celebrating pausing and taking on a new perspective with the Hanged Man, and the Aries Crone Moon was asking us to start moving forward.

Congratulations, crones! You did it! You took the new perspective you gained and started to change. Taurus notices the changes you have made no matter how small, and it celebrates the aspects that made your “heart place” even slightly more comfy cozy.

What to Examine: The Forest Quarter Turn Clockwise

Just as the moon reflects the light of the sun and invites us to celebrate our wins, it also reflects to us what we are holding onto and need to set down before we retreat further into the darkness.

Y’all how perfect could this be? We have another place card for Taurus. But also, it’s The Forest. Have you ever heard of having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees? What a perfect reflection card. The quarter turn here makes me think that we either were able to see the big picture and lost it, or we are close to putting something together. We aren’t totally in the weeds, and taking the comfy Taurus energy may make us feel safe enough to put the pieces [back] together.

Where in your life do you feel like you need just a few more details to get clarity? It could be something big like a relationship or career change that you are agonizing over or something small like puzzling over the best way to rearrange your closet. Maybe the problem is that you have been looking at the details when big picture thinking is what will bring clarity. You are close to getting it. You just need to reorient yourself. Take this month, settle in, and try to connect those trees and find your forest.

What to Release: The Shapeshifter

As the reflected light of the sun recedes it becomes more difficult to see, and we need to rely more on our own intuition and guiding light than on what we see around us. The release of the Crone asks us what we need to quietly set down before going further on our crone journey.

The Shapeshifter is our first “Selves Card”. Well, the nature of the shapeshifter is we aren’t being our self. What a thing to release!

I love the image on this card. Our attention immediately lands on the different parts of a face cobbled together. Think of all the different faces we put on in an ordinary day. Crone, (grand)parent, child, partner, employee, friend, etc. The situational masks start to seep into our core understanding of ourselves. The changes may become more than skin deep, and I love the snakeskin background for this card hinting that we may need to shed that skin to embrace who we truly are.

Have you ever had this conversation where you meet someone new.

“Hi, I’m The Crone.”

“Nice to meet you The Crone, I’m The New Guy. What do you do?”

The first thing people want to know about us is our name, the most personal aspect of who we are, but then immediately follow it up with the mask we wear 8+ hours a day as an employee. I only recently started thinking to myself “Who is The Crone?” instead of defining myself by titles. Can you imagine how taken aback someone would be if we gave an answer to that question in small talk?

The “what do you do” question is so much safer as it can be answered with one of our many masks. When I answer that question as “I’m a doctor” or “I’m a geriatrician” am I giving them information about who I really am? No. Just the mask I wear those 8+ hours a day.

I don’t know about you, but in my crone era I’m getting tired of living through someone else’s labels or fitting into a neat box to make them more comfortable. The thought of releasing my inner shapeshifter is exhilarating and terrifying.

Taurus hates change—but—it also hates being uncomfortable. The release and change it is asking for this month is to let go of at least one mask and embrace the simple beauty and pleasure of being yourself. It can be scary, and if it is too uncomfortable at first Taurus says it is cool to ease into it.

The Threshold: The Underworld Reversed

The half illumination and half dark of the Crone Moon is a liminal threshold moment. Everything in the cycle has led us here, and now it is our time to decide on how we will proceed.

Here we are with another place card. Taurus really is about our surroundings, huh?

The surroundings in this card don’t look too pleasant. Worms. Rotting plants. I can’t say for sure, but those little red bugs make me think of ladybugs which I’ve always thought were lucky.

And this card is so on the nose for a threshold moment. I mean, The Underworld. Come on.

Entering the underworld is one of the biggest thresholds I can think of. The border between life and death. How much more liminal can you get? However, this card is reversed.

Is the reversal of a huge threshold moment paired with the comfort and resistance to change of Taurus telling us to slow down when crossing threshold moments this month? I mean, Aries, which is all about bold action, also told us to slow down at the threshold last month. Is there something big you are thinking about but not quite ready to take the plunge into the dark unknown?

Before we commit to a change, especially those that are not easily reversed, this month, perhaps we should take a pause. Is it really for the best? Will it really make life more pleasant? Only you and Taurus know.

Intention: The Bridge

In the darkness of the Crone’s Moon, the distraction of the light melts away. It is time to rest, reflect, and recover. Our inner crone whispers to us about our intentions for when the light returns.

Another place card. This place is about connections.

I see a rainbow connecting a small childlike hand to a more adult hand. The rainbow bridge is light reflecting over water. Several things are jumping out at me from here. Are we looking at a generational bridge being built or perhaps at inner child work? Maybe we are looking at a “bridge over troubled water,” that will help get us through a emotional time. Are you a pet owner? Could this be “the rainbow bridge” pets are said to cross over—I mean the threshold was The Underworld. But remember we are seeing a bridge made of light while we are setting intentions for when the light of the moon returns.

This is the position of intention setting. Sure seems to me that we are being asked to start building towards something. In last month’s reading the 8 of swords reversed showed us we had been feeling trapped in a decision but we truly weren’t and needed to start making progress. Maybe this month we are being asked to continue taking the small steps we started last month and that they may start to connect for us.

Whatever our intentions are, hopefully Taurus’s energy won’t slow us down but rather give us the space to feel safe while building toward connection.

The Crone Speaks: The Crone

Your inner crone has seen all five Crone Moon cards, and she has something to say about it. Listen up. She doesn’t stutter.

Umm...

I feel like this should be a mike drop moment. Does she need to say anything other than just show up like the badass she is? Whatever first pops into your head at this moment is exactly what she wants you to hear.

I swear I did not hand pick this card. In fact, I was not sure I wanted to use this deck for our reading this month. It had called to me, but I felt weird introducing an oracle deck so early in our journey.

I want to tell you how I choose my cards so you can understand how odd this coincidence is. I use an overhand shuffle. Occasionally while doing this a card will “fly” out of the deck. I only use those flyer cards for my readings. If more than one card flies out at a time I don’t look at them and I put them back in the deck until just one card pops out. If they land face up I use the direction they fell for the upright/reversed position. If they land upside down I use the direction it is in my hand when I turn it over.

This is the method I used when The Crone showed up this month.

After pulling the 5^th card, I had a moment of doubt. I told myself that unless the 6^th card, The Crone Speaks, came up as The Crone, I would just use this as my private reading and use a real tarot deck for y’all.

73 cards left in the deck. She came flying out. Upright.

Make of this what you will. I think Taurus would be pretty comforted by it.

Putting It All Together:

So, what’s a crone to do?

Well, she has already spoken and endorses this message (see above).

This month we can find ourselves embracing the stable beautiful Taurus energy to help ourselves and slowly inch towards our goals OR we could embrace the shadow side, dig our heels in, and resist change. It is our choice.

And really, that’s the theme here. Choosing to find comfort and beauty in the simple things, being true to yourself, and be discerning with your choices. You may be wrestling with a decision that is irreversible. Take time and make sure you understand the big picture and aren’t getting lost in the details. We’ve had a couple of months looking at pausing and thinking deeply about decisions. The Bridge at the end of this reading may just be what we have been building towards whether you are making connections in the physical, social, emotional, or spiritual world, they are your work for the coming month. But in the process don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.

I know I’ll be reflecting on the archetypes that came up for us here beyond this reading. If you are so inclined, take a look at Jungian psychology and his discussion of archetypes and their shadow sides. I know I will be.

We will touch base again on September 4^th’s Crone Moon in Gemini to celebrate all you accomplish this month and use Gemini’s energy for a more in-depth analysis of our crone journey.

Journal Prompts

The crone does not assign homework. But if you want to go deeper, here are some questions worth sitting with.

• Where in your life is comfort serving you right now, and where is it just an excuse to stay put?

• What have you been holding together with a mask, a habit, or sheer stubbornness, that might actually be ready for release?

• What did The Crone say to you when she spoke and what do you think about her card showing up?

Which archetype in this reading spoke to you, and why do you think it found you? Tell me in the comments.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

“Weak?”

“You don’t yell. You don’t fight back. You aren’t strong.”

Suddenly, unbidden, the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot “Strength” card image popped into my head. Unbidden.

I paused. This has never happened to me before. I’m someone who struggles with mental images.

The novelty shocked me enough to change the typical fight or flight response.

I took a deep breath.

I summoned all my strength. It felt nearly impossible, but I lowered my voice and my body. I tried to lower my heart rate and project a soft, calm confidence--which was hard because my insides were tensing and raging.

“Buddy, strength isn’t fighting. Strength is refusing to fight”

What was the picture that inspired my behavior change? (insert rws strength card here)

The woman is the picture of calmness and gentleness. She has tamed the lion, a symbol of power, raw emotion, and aggression. She gently holds its jaw—its most powerful and deadly aspect closed while it submits. I’ve always liked the yellow background as it conveys a sense of joy in the stillness.

The card calls on an archetype, a core aspect of the human experience embedded into our psyches. Archetypes cover the entire range of human experiences and are as old as time, but Carl Jung is explicitly credited with defining and introducing the concept to modern psychology.

Today was my day to call on the archetype of strength.

After difficult moments with the kids, I like to debrief with them and work on relationship repair. But first, I have to debrief myself.

While sitting with this one, our last Crone Moon Pull in Aries crossed my mind. Wasn’t I supposed to release Strength this cycle?

“When we think of strength, especially in light of Aries, we think of raw brute strength and power. However, Bob and the bear are asking us to see the other type of strength. Quiet, steady, inner strength.”

But the Crone Moon Pull was asking us to release strength?

“Inner strength has been with us all along, and we need to release the feeling that we can ONLY access it and succeed if we are dependent on others.”

Mars, the God of War, rules Aries. He typifies strength through brute force. Fighting back. Yelling. Exactly what my son was asking of me. Reflecting on the Aries Crone Moon Pull, I was explicitly asked to release that kind of strength. The kind others are asking me to project. To be the mama bear, teaching my baby duckling to fly by silently holding space for him.

In this moment, I found my Crone Moon Pull release.

This moment and others like it are why I use tarot daily and share the monthly Crone Moon Tarot pulls with you. The cards don’t predict the future. They don’t tell us what to do. They give us access to a deep-seated way of knowing and reflection on our human experience. Daily practice gave me the exposure I needed to find this archetype in the moment. To learn from it. To act on it.

Archetypes aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are darker shadow sides. For example, my son was expecting and encouraging the shadow side of strength. He wanted me to “Come to the Dark Side” a la Darth Vader. It would have been easy to do; to slip into yelling, standing over him, threatening punishment. A more subtle shadow would be the silent treatment and “staying strong” to inflict a different kind of emotional pain.

We cannot have the positive of an archetype without the shadow. Just like we can’t go in the sun without our own shadow. Our best chance to avoid “the dark side” is to familiarize ourselves with the archetypes and recognize the response we choose in each situation.

When I first got into tarot, I’d never heard the word archetype. All I knew was about a year into my daily practice I saw a real change in how I responded to stressful situations. Learning about archetypes deepened my understanding and practice further, allowing me to visualize archetypes in the moment and make a conscious choice about how to respond on what used to be unconscious instinct.

The Crone Moon in Virgo pull is coming up in two days. I invite you to join me in this self-reflection. Skeptics—the Virgo moon pull is the perfect place to jump in because it is focused on analysis, details, and being of service.

Let me be of service to you by walking you through the archetypes that arise. We can all practice recognizing them in ourselves in the coming month.

And watch for a special deck that will help us in our archetypal exploration.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

I quickly dashed off the text to my former coworker before dropping the phone in my swim bag, grabbing my barbells, and jumping into the pool.

I thought I was on time, but apparently on time is late in the world of water aerobics. The class had already started, and I got dirty looks for jumping in even though I wasn’t near enough to anyone to splash them. I didn’t know the rules yet.

As I joined the warmup train walking around the pool while ABBA blasted in the background I observed everyone carefully to try and figure out what those rules were. I was astounded that about 15 of the 20 of us in the pool still had dry coiffed hair. Surely that wouldn’t last through the whole class, but it explained why they were so miffed that I jumped in.

It had been a minute since I’d exercised. Was that squeezing feeling in my chest and stomach a heart attack? No. It was that existential dread that follows you everywhere when a job consumes you. I’m here to forget that.

Time to get my barbells from the side of the pool. Wow. Those suckers can really float. They are made for resistance and keeping them under water is tricky. I’m focused on not letting the barbells see the light of day while we punch under water. If I can keep them under the water, try hard enough, be perfect enough, maybe the dread will go away.

But no. That is what I’d been trying to do at work for years. All it did was hollow me out and pour anxiety, self-doubt, and bitterness inside and make me too time-crunched and stressed to notice.

Time for squat jumps. Umm…. we are in 4.5’ deep water. I’m only 5’4”. I’m essentially drowning myself each time I go down to squat and never fully getting into a squat position because barbells make me float. Head goes under. Head goes up. When it goes up, I realize I am splashing and sheepishly slow it down to look around. Everyone’s hair is still dry. Their barbells are mostly above the water. They are talking and laughing.

I remember my grandmother. She had a whole crew of water aerobics buddies and told stories from their classes that sounded more like gossip sessions. Those stories were my inspiration for being here. Water aerobics was one of my retirement goals, and this was day two of my retirement.

The clock on the wall said it was 12:30. At work, the fellows are halfway done with their first patient. If I were in clinic I’d be drowning in patient alerts, refills, forms, and bracing for the first round of sign-out reports from the fellows on the patients they are seeing.

But I’m not there. I’m never going back there. I’m here. A place I had told so many patients about in the past. Water aerobics is the perfect geriatric exercise. Good for the joints. Now, here I am in a class myself.

Suddenly class was over. I’d made a point of never letting my barbells come to the surface. By the time I waited my turn to climb the ladder out of the pool and arrive on the deck, my arms and legs were rubber and my hair was sopping. How do so many ladies still have dry hair? They must be witches. (Cool!)

I check my phone. No response to my pre-class text. I’m not sad they are managing without me, just sad that I didn’t get to joke with them about being in water aerobics instead of clinic.

Two months go by and I meet with this coven of water crones twice a week. Somewhere in there, something unclenched. The dread and tightness in my chest and stomach disappeared. I heard from work a few times, but it had mostly left my conscious thoughts. I still tried as hard as I could in class, but I didn’t beat myself up anymore if a barbell broke the surface of the water.

I got to know Nancy, the recently retired diplomat who just moved back to town and was fighting with the contractors renovating her house. I saw the group instinctively protect Susan. Susan got easily flustered when the routine changed, and my geriatrician eye saw she was likely in the early stages of dementia. I could tell her friend had suspicions. And we all snickered about the older men who came to “swim laps” during our class but spent a lot of time suspiciously walking around the deck near our end of the pool.

Then one Tuesday in class, there is a funny fluttering feeling in my tummy again. I didn’t have chili fries for lunch. It is different than before. I think it is…excitement?

The first day of the new job goes well, and I come home floating on air. The only problem, my new work days clash with the water aerobics class. I only have one more meeting with the coven of water crones.

That last day began with a trip to my old job as a guest speaker. As I walked the campus my breathing became more shallow, the squeeze in my chest was back, and I found myself lowering my eyes to stare at the ground as I walked. My passion for training the next generation of geriatricians will never disappear. I thought the prior 2.5 months had helped me shake the negative feelings. The thoughts had gone away, but my brain forgot to tell my body.

After speaking, I walked out without a backward glance, and each step felt lighter and lighter. I was going to water aerobics!

I had to book it to get there on time. And…just like the first class, on time was late. I knew better than to jump straight into the pool this time. I eased in and tried to find an empty spot.

You know how when you are in a hurry you don’t notice things you normally would?

It took me a minute to settle into class. Once I did, I started trying to take in all the sights and sounds to cement memories. Nancy. Susan. The teenage lifeguards who alternately tried to hide their laughter and their awe with us. The summer camp field trip kids playing in the other part of the shallow end.

That is when I felt it. Eyes boring into the back of my head. I turned around and locked eyes with Conner. One of my kids’ friends since they shared an infant room at daycare.

Ms. “Crone?”

We shared waves and big smiles. I scanned the other kids and saw several others I knew and loved.

Two of the water crones turned around and stared at me. They looked confused. They were old enough to be the child’s grandmothers. I could see them trying to calculate my age. I smiled at the enigma of being a middle-aged crone who is retired yet has elementary aged kids.

As quickly as I snuck into the pool, class was over. I impatiently waited my turn to climb the ladder out of the pool. I’d learned climbing out on the edge was not a part of the water crone coven rules of engagement. The last moment of the last day of class wasn’t the right time to break the rules.

The field trip kids were lining up to leave. I hurried over to say hello. One of them launched themselves at me with a hug. Luckily, he loudly asked where my kids were by name and the camp counselor recognized me. She’d been nervous about an old lady coming up to her brood.

In the locker room, I smiled as I texted their moms to let them know the kids were having fun and that one of them gave me a hug and nearly gave their counselor a heart attack. They texted back quickly and we shared jokes about the absurdity of the situation and of me doing water aerobics.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

Take her seriously but not literally. She isn’t into online relationships, especially of the medical variety.

What is a geriatrician? I asked my doctor and he quickly said, “Oh, I see old people too.”

Primary care also sees people with hearts, but that doesn’t keep them from sending patients to cardiologists.

Geriatricians are internists or family physicians who have done at least one extra year of training on the nuances of caring for older adults. Some of us, like The Crone, are masochists and did three extra years.

Geriatricians are an elite workforce (because nobody wants to join us), about 7,000 board certified strong in the US. Our patients’ average age is in the mid-80s, but age ain’t nothin’ but a number. If you have more specialists than you can count on one hand and struggle to keep up or if your loved ones are starting to be called caregivers, we want to see you. Bonus: we’re consistently rated the most satisfied doctors in medicine, so at least someone in the room will be happy to be there. We’ll give you our assessment of your 5Ms and tune you up to stay as independent as possible.

What are the 5Ms? I’ll leave you on this cliffhanger for another day.

Two months ago I was rounding up cattle. Now I need a cane to get out of a chair. My doctor says I’m just getting old. Is this true?

Short answer: WTF? No!

Many people in their 20s can’t herd cattle. Many people in their 90s don’t need a cane. I must have missed the class in med school where we discussed the physiologic mechanism for age causing assistive device use.

Age isn’t a diagnosis — well, there is an official copout diagnosis, “Age-Related Physical Debility,” ICD-10 R54.

My mind is buzzing with tons of questions for you, like can you send me a picture of the cute baby cows? But also has the weakness caused you to fall, kept you from walking or even dressing or bathing?

Take the bull by the horns and follow up with your doctor. If you get another shrug, find a new doctor. If you’re 65+, think about a geriatrician. If not, make sure your new doctor is a crone.

I’m pretty sure your first name isn’t The and your last name isn’t Crone. Why would a geriatrician do that?

Because “Crone Powers M.D.” carries an implied threat of doom to those not following my advice that “Dr. Powers” just can’t convey.

But more seriously, we’ve already talked about why words matter. Reclaiming the word crone honors the many women I have known personally and professionally who get louder, wittier, and more powerful as they age. It will no longer be used to shame them back into silence.

Crone is one of the oldest, funniest, most misunderstood titles a woman can hold. Embodying The Crone archetype lets me deliver truths in a way that my alter ego archetype of The Doctor will never let me. The Crone gets to be blunt, a little unhinged, and completely serious at the same time, because just like science and spirituality, reverence and humor were never actually opposites. Everyone just forgot that around the same time they started being scared of old women.

That’s it for this round. Have more questions? Send them in. I can’t promise an answer, but I can promise an opinion.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

Geriatric Assessment

Chief Complaint (CC): “Sick of everyone’s shit”

History of Present Illness (HPI): A 271-year-old female with a history of cannibalistic diet presents with chronic indigestion for centuries. She describes this pain as intermittent and annoying. Symptoms are brought on by visitors with unsolicited requests and improper approach, and they are alleviated only by solitude, distance, and respect. Other symptoms include rage and desire to eat her transgressors. When the symptoms are present, she rates them a 10/10. She states this significantly impacts her daily functioning by causing her to remain transitory and to overeat.

Social History (SH): Lives alone. Transitionally housed in a mobile home on chicken legs in the forest. Still drives—in a flying mortar and pestle.

Physical Exam (PE):

GEN: Older woman, generally disagreeable, appropriately groomed and dressed

HEENT: Large nose with crooked metal teeth

CV: RRR with intact pulses and significant coldness on palpation

RESP: Clear to auscultation bilateral with audible exasperated sighing

ABD: Distended with audible screams on auscultation

EXT: Arms and legs elongated and thin and no muscle wasting 2+ strength throughout

NEURO: Oriented to person, place, time, the inner motivations of the examiner and the future

Assessment: 271-year-old female presenting with being sick over everyone’s shit and indigestion most likely due to being the OG Crone but potentially Salmonella or Mad Cow Disease related to her dietary habits.

Plan:

• Referral to ethics to teach them boundary techniques

• No dietary restrictions

• Driving assessment deferred as she threatened to use pestle to grind examiner’s bones

• Be cautious offering advice

• Return to Clinic whenever she damn well feels like it

Meet the Crone

Picture it. You are lost in the Russian woods and come across a clearing. In the clearing is a house—on chicken legs. The white picket fence around it is made of bones. Human skulls illuminate the path. You approach from behind and command “Hut, hut. Turn your back to the forest and your front to me!” The chicken legs jump, the house spins to face you. A low gruff woman’s voice calls you in, and you find her stretched out on the stove. Her legs reach all the way to one wall and her head to the other. Her nose is so long it hits the roof and her breasts are held up by a metal pole. She says she smells Russian bones as she licks her lips around her metal teeth. You ask for help finding your way home. This is where her test begins.

Meet Baba Yaga, the Crone of Slavic folklore. She’s the Crone’s Crone. The OG Crone. THE Crone to know. There is a reason we are starting the Crone Files series with her.

We don’t know when the myth of Baba Yaga was first told. She may be a very early earth goddess, goddess of the underworld, or a more recent folkloric invention. Her story was first written down in the 1700s in a ledger equating the Slavic folklore figures to Greek gods/goddesses. Baba Yaga, fittingly, had no equal.

Baba Yaga is sometimes portrayed as a chthonic goddess. She guards the fountain of life and therefore the liminal realm between the mortal and spirit world. In Slavic folklore, the underworld is literally a forest underground. While you are in the clearing around her house, you are in the mortal realm. Asking the hut to turn around—on its chicken legs—from the woods to face you is a request to enter the liminal space between life and death. Whether you know it or not.

That’s right. This amazing Crone lives in a chicken-themed crossroads between life and death. She lives in a liminal space, which perfectly sets up her dual nature.

Nobody leaves her hut the same as they entered. They are experiencing the biggest liminal moment of their lives. They are there for a test, an initiation, or an ending. It is all up to them and Baba Yaga’s mood. After entering her hut, they leave changed forever or they never leave.

Baba Yaga is a Crone, a trickster, a villain, a guardian, AND sometimes a protector. She has three horsemen who do her bidding and a flock of black geese who help her find naughty lost children to eat. But she also helps the worthy.

In one of her most famous stories, she helps a young woman, Vasilisa, get away from a wicked stepmother/stepsister situation. She only decides to help Vasilisa instead of eating her after putting her through multiple seemingly impossible trials of domestic labor and service. Vasilisa is obedient and minds her own business, so Baba Yaga reluctantly decides to help.

You never know which Baba Yaga you are going to get.

Perhaps her penchant for helping young women who are obedient and do domestic service is a holdover from centuries of patriarchal retellings, or maybe Baba Yaga just wants free maid service and to not have to deal with other people’s shit.

Baba Yaga has supernatural abilities, but her true power comes from living outside society, its rules, and doing whatever she wants.

The chicken-leg house? It’s so she can pick up and leave to make sure nobody can find her. The only ones who find her are in true need or make a very unfortunate mistake.

And speaking of transportation, she doesn’t have a car, a bike, or any such mundane method of getting around. She goes out every morning in her flying mortar and pestle. She steers with the pestle and uses a broom (besom) to sweep the clouds behind her to cover her tracks.

She is the perfect liminal Crone. This level of DGAF and desire to be alone is aspirational.

Crone Rx

Now that we know the Crone, it is time to apply her lessons.

What Would Baba Yaga Do? (WWBYD)

Channel her when you are standing at a real threshold and are in a true crisis of choice. Like leaving the marriage, the job, or the identity that used to fit. You know the one—when everyone wants reassurance you will come back to being the same person, but you know you won’t.

You should also channel her energy the next time you are about to say yes out of duty instead of desire. The holiday party nobody wants to host. No. Staying five more years at that job that’s done with you. Leave. Letting yourself be mansplained to. Shut it down. Baba Yaga would never deign to do any of that. She doesn’t should on herself.

She is the only Crone I know with her own advice column. So, if you have more questions for her, you can Ask Baba Yaga.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

I’ve taught in almost every classroom here. As I approach today’s room, my nervous system responds with chest tightness and face flushing. It was in this room, just prior to retirement, that I realized I’d given this place more than I ever should have—especially more control over my emotions.

You know how they say it’s a marathon and not a sprint? Academic medicine is all sprints. When I opted to get off the treadmill I was met with confusion and pity—and I dread those looks and conversations today. I remind myself that I am here for the fellows, and that right now nothing else matters.

I take a deep breath, rub the ocean jasper in my pocket, open the door, and walk in.

Three second-year fellows excitedly say hello and express surprise and joy that I am back. I was their program director just a few short months ago. I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, smile, and take my seat.

Why am I here orienting the new geriatric medicine fellowship class despite stepping down as program director in February and retiring in April? Because Words Matter, and I am here to give a talk by the same name.

Words are magic. They shape the way we think and act. The words we use when talking about aging have been heavily culturally influenced to lean negative. Words with negative connotations shape the way we view others, set up systems, and interact with the world.

I get pretty fired up about this, and I guess that is why they invited me back to speak instead of just handing my slides over to someone else.

I spoke to them about implicit bias in aging and brought up Grandpa Simpson as an example in the media. His fairly one-dimensional characteristics are that he falls asleep, drools, asks repetitive questions, and tells nostalgic stories. With images like this permeating popular culture and media, no wonder we subconsciously incorporate ageist ideas and words into our everyday language.

Why does this matter in medicine? Medicine makes Herculean efforts to save lives, but the system isn’t built for caring for us into old age after our lives have been saved. We exclude older adults from research. We say things like, ‘of course you have aches and pains at your age’ or ‘it is normal to forget things at your age.’ In case you are wondering neither of those things are normal.

Guess what? No matter our level of privilege when we are younger, we will be marginalized as we age. Why do our younger selves do this to our future selves? We can go down that rabbit hole another time. But language feeds into the othering as we age.

If you are still with me, you are probably wondering what words we should use to try and avoid othering older adults?

Avoid they/them. Not the personal pronouns, but using they/them to refer to the whole demographic. Instead use we/us, all of us, as we age, etc. Ex. Not—When the elderly fall, they are more likely to have serious injuries. They can prevent falls by exercising more. Instead—As we age, falls are more likely to cause serious injuries. We can try to prevent falls by exercising more.

It killed my soul to write elderly above. I cannot stand that word.

It seems innocuous. We use it all the time. But think about how you use it. Research shows it connotes incompetence as does the word senior.

What word should we use instead? The research says older adult implies competence and is less likely to other the demographic.

My hatred of the word elderly was kind of legendary in the program. Prior trainees would see me grimace when I overheard the word from others, and the flash of anger in my eyes if they used it. It became a joke and then a meme. I promise you, I don’t say ‘girly’.

I ended my talk with the (full sized) meme. It got a laugh.

I almost followed it with my crone picture as an example of using the words people choose for themselves, but I realized I’d rather talk about that with you.

Crone likely means something different to each person reading this. I use it tongue-in-cheek as a way to reclaim negative stereotypes.

In preparing for this post, I decided to read a little more on the etymology of the word crone. Did you know it came the French word “charogne” meaning carrion? Old disagreeable (ie independent) women were equated with rotting dead animals. Cute.

The first time it appeared in English literature was in Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales in The Wife of Bath’s Tale. Who knew this post would veer to Chaucer—not me—I’m not really a literary person. But when I learned this tidbit, I immediately and voluntarily read it. Luckily, I found a modern translation instead of the Middle English one I was forced to read in high school.

Guess what? To Chaucer, the Crone isn’t carrion at all. She is a kick ass older woman—or rather two kick ass older women. The crone in the story, and the one telling the story. It takes one to know one.

In this story within a story, we learn about a knight who commits a crime and is given one chance to save his life: discover what women most desire. “Nobody” knew the answer. At least not the people society usually turns to: the young, the powerful, the leaders.

Only the crone knows and nobody thought to ask her.

She speaks up and tells us that women want sovereignty, the right to rule themselves.

Chaucer ultimately ruins this amazingly feminist revelation. Because she gave him the answer, the knight marries the crone, but he is upset that she is old and ugly. She gives him one final test. He can choose for her to stay old but faithful or be young and beautiful but not faithful. He tells her to decide, giving her sovereignty. She rewards him for getting the right answer—by turning into a young beautiful woman.

So close, Chaucer. So close.

I knew none of that about the word crone until I stared writing this post.

So why do I call myself a crone? Well—connotation has deep roots in etymology whether we know it or not. And, in my longwinded academic rant above, I hope I proved connotation matters when talking about aging.

Crone is a dirty word to some. It can be equated with old, ugly, evil, witch, hag, and so on. But, especially when we look at the maiden, mother, crone archetypes, crones are the wise women. The ones who have claimed their sovereignty. The sovereignty others don’t even realize women want or need. The sovereignty they spent their maiden and mother years squelching. The sovereignty that scares people and leaves them speechless and unnerved by your pure joy in abandoning the work you had taken on when you thought you had to perform for love and approval.

When I talk about my crone awakening, I was invoking Chaucer and I didn’t even know it. Channeling my inner crone is allowing me to go after what I most desire. Sovereignty. The right to rule myself. I had abandoned that, and myself. Maybe I never had it.

Now, deep in my fuck it forties, I am claiming my sovereignty. Crone is the very best word for the powerful feeling of audacity, nerdiness, and wisdom, that I now want to embody.

And you know what? I think I’ve gotten so fired up about the words we use to describe aging in the past because of the self-sovereignty that I implicitly knew was missing not just in me but for many older, female identifying, and marginalized people. Now I’m able to explicitly link my passion for ensuring dignity and respect for older adults, and my draw to the word crone and the crone lifestyle.

It is all about self-sovereignty. And now that I am aware of this (thank you Chaucer) I will even more enthusiastically take up the crone mantle. It is time to stop performing for other people’s approval. It is freeing and also very fun to watch the confused reactions of those who knew you prior to your awakening.

Crones, if you are with me, step into your crone self-sovereignty.

Or maybe crone is not your word. Maybe there is another word that was handed to you that took your self-sovereignty. My whole life I let people define me by my intelligence and achievement. My constant feeling of not being good enough threw me into a slow death spiral of trying to prove my worth through bigger and bigger achievements and overcommitting. You may have been defined by your age, body, role, worth, or something else whether you wanted it or not.

Whatever word you choose to describe yourself, know that that words matter.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

Why the Crone Moon? Well, the Crone Moon, aka last quarter moon, falls exactly halfway between the full moon and the new moon. It is half illuminated and half dark. From this liminal space, the light continues its retreat. The crone embraces this time of growing darkness. She knows this is where the real work happens.

New here? The full explainer of moon science, phases, and symbolism and of the crone moon tarot spread lives here.

The Moon in Aries

Aries energy is fiery and intense. It acts first and sometimes doesn’t even ask questions later. The beauty of this is that emotions are direct and transparent with little time or use for grudges or resentment. The Crone Moon calls us to evaluate our current situation, release what no longer serves us, and realign with what does, and Aries energy asks us to approach this release boldly and unapologetically.

What’s coming

New Moon in Cancer — July 14 This new moon is going to amplify feelings. Full stop. The sign of Cancer is ruled by the moon, and both are about feelings. This will be a time to examine your feelings, focus on self-care, family, and home. It is also Bastille Day—maybe this is a sign that it is okay to drown those emotions in tasty pastries?

Full Moon in Aquarius — July 29 Aquarius is community and collective ideas. This full moon is complicated by being in direct opposition to the Sun in Leo. You may feel tension between self-expression and group responsibility. Harmonize what you can and release that which does not serve you.

Next Crone Moon in Virgo — August 5 Virgo wants you to analyze, focus on details, and be of service. Next month, we will focus on how to balance these drives with your crone identity.

A Note on Tarot

Tarot is for entertainment and self-reflection. It does not predict the future or tell your fortune. I invite you to look at the pictures and symbols on the cards and exercise your brain to put them together in a way that is meaningful to you. Skeptics welcome.

The Deck

Today, I am using the Tarot of the Tides Deck by Steven Hutton. I am a sucker for rubber duckies, and this deck delivers. It is the one I wanted to use for you during the Summer Solstice, but the weather thwarted me. It is all about the journey of a duck named Bob. Here is the message from the creator:

“Tarot of Tides tells the tale of a small toy duck called bob who was forgotten at the beach one day. As the Fool of the tarot, Bob sees the world through innocent, unbiased eyes as he navigates the seven seas. The tides carry him to far-flung and varied landscapes, where he encounters a menagerie of fantastic creatures who contribute to the little duck’s epic adventure, shaping his perspective along the way.”

A Note on The Major Arcana:

Today’s pull focuses heavily on Major Arcana cards. I love this for several reasons. One is because Bob the duck is only featured on the Major Arcana cards in this deck—so we get to see his cuteness a lot in this pull. Also, the Major Arcana, as opposed to the Minor Arcana, in the tarot deck highlights major life lessons, milestones, and archetypes. In this Crone Moon cycle we are called to evaluate deeper core truths about ourselves.

Now on to Our Reading

What to Celebrate: The Hanged Man

This card is a reminder to celebrate the light of the last moon cycle. What did it bring that is worth honoring before we retreat further into the darkness of the crone moon?

Our hero, Bob, floats under an old bridge on a cold and snowy day. The bridge is decorated with graffiti and festooned with other items of warmth, sentimental value, and remembrance. Bob is looking up at the bridge, yet all those on the bridge will never notice him amongst the other items. All but one, that is. The teddy bear hanging upside down has a completely different perspective, and the two lock eyes. The bear’s red scarf flows towards Bob, beckoning Bob to join him.

The Hanged Man is just that. A reminder to pause and take on a new perspective. It is in those quiet moments of perspective shifting that we discover some of the most beautiful and meaningful things. But it is also those quiet moments that we are taught to discard as unimportant. If we aren’t busy, we can’t be doing anything important, right?

Business as worthiness is so drilled into us, you may have discounted your moments of stillness over the past month. But now is the time to celebrate this stillness. Did it bring you important realizations, or just some much needed rest? Either way, this is your reminder that stillness is important, necessary, and should be celebrated. In fact, now that we are in an Aries Crone Moon, protect that stillness boldly and unapologetically.

What to Examine: The Devil

Just as the moon reflects the light of the sun and invites us to celebrate our wins, it also reflects to us what we are holding onto and need to set down before we retreat further into the darkness.

Oh no! Bob has been eaten by a Devil Fish! We see him trapped and undigested in the clear bulging stomach. He was swallowed whole in an act of hunger and perhaps greed. Little does the Devil Fish know that Bob’s buoyancy may keep him from getting away from an even bigger danger—the gigantic sharp jaws in the darkness. He may do better long term with what feels like a temporary loss of spitting Bob out.

This Devil Fish asks us to examine where we may be feeling trapped or confined, especially due to attachment to wealth, status, possessions, or excess. But just like the broken chains on the ocean floor beneath the fish, or the fish’s option to spit Bob out, we have the ability to change our circumstances. We are being asked to look at our attachments and fears. Are they really trapping us, or is it our inability to let go that keeps us trapped?

It is time to examine where we are holding ourselves back. Is it old identities, power structures, ideas on self-worth? Aries is here to demand you examine it. It has no patience for denial, and it encourages you to bravely confront what still has a hook in you so it stops running the show from the shadows.

What to Release: Strength

As the reflected light of the sun recedes it becomes more difficult to see, and we need to rely more on our own intuition and guiding light than on what we see around us. The release of the Crone asks us what we need to quietly set down before going further on our crone journey.

Here we see Bob being cuddled by a big sleeping brown bear, much like a child would cuddle a teddy bear. We also see a transparent duck in the tidepool, wings outstretched like it is about to take flight. Is the bear’s comfort allowing Bob to dream of further adventures?

When we think of strength, especially in light of Aries, we think of raw brute strength and power. However, Bob and the bear are asking us to see the other type of strength. Quiet, steady, inner strength.

But wait? This is the release card. Inner strength is what we are supposed to release?

No. We want to release the feeling that we need someone to hold us tight like the mama bear to find our inner strength. We are being asked to remember that we have the power within ourselves to dream and fly off on our own adventures.

Our dreams, just like the translucent duck of Bob’s dreams, are ready to take flight and move on to the next stage of adventure. Inner strength has been with us all along, and we need to release the feeling that we can ONLY access it and succeed if we are dependent on others.

Aries asks us to move forward and boldly release the false belief that we are unable to soar on our own.

The Threshold: The Sun Reversed

The half illumination and half dark of the Crone Moon is a liminal threshold moment. Everything in the cycle has led us here, and now it is our time to decide on how we will proceed.

Do you recognize this card? It is the one I shared with you in the solstice post. It is likely no mistake that it showed up again so we can examine it more closely.

Here we see a winged lion. The guidebook tells us that the line or—threshold—is the international date line and the lion’s head is in the daytime and his body is still in the nighttime. His head is fiery and his back half is silvery like it is still illuminated by the moon. He stands on a rock on the water and the water in the darkness is choppier than the water in the light. We also see Bob in the light with the shadow of a hand reaching up behind him while he stares at the lion.

Ok. We can literally take this as the light melting away, but I think there is a much deeper meaning here, especially as we see the lion in the liminal space, the threshold, between light and dark, just like the prompt for this threshold card.

One thing to note, The Sun is always an auspicious card, even reversed. The alignment with our half-light, half-dark, crone moon echoes our standing at the threshold. Our transition is real, but the reversed nature of the card may mean that it isn’t quite ready to arrive yet, and we need patience for the coming dawn. Also, look at the hand coming for Bob in the shadows. In reverse especially, this tells me that we may fear or be at risk for a negative outcome, but the protection of The Sun will protect us if we heed its advice.

Aries may tell us to rush forward into our threshold moment and intensify our desire for change, but instead, we should take that boldness and transform it into the courage to wait. The restraint may just bring about positive changes.

Intention: Eight of Swords Reversed

In the darkness of the Crone’s Moon, the distraction of the light melts away. It is time to rest, reflect, and recover. Our inner crone whispers to us about our intentions for when the light returns.

This is the only Minor Arcana card in our reading and the only one where we do not see Bob. Instead we see the image from his perspective. A dolphin is swimming in the wreckage of a boat with eight corroded steel stanchions rising around her like sword blades. The boat is tangled in the grassy seabed below. She looks trapped, but the bright blue sky above and the fact that she swam in on her own gives us the hope and reassurance that she can swim back out on her own.

This card is reversed. When upright it speaks to the fact that we may feel trapped in a situation, but we aren’t and we just need to view it from a different perspective. Whenever I see a swords card reversed, it makes me think of the swords sliding right out, like we are already finding our way out of the treacherous situation and the swords are falling away around us.

And what about this being from Bob’s perspective and not us on the outside observing him in the scene? Bob has already learned lessons from his many adventures and he is ready to apply them here. We too are ready to apply the lessons learned from our reflection on the previous cards.

What does this mean for our intention setting during this Crone Moon? We may have been avoiding something. Something that has felt overwhelming. Something we felt like we couldn’t even begin to address. This eight of swords reversed tells us that we are already making progress and that we should set our intentions on this once seemingly overwhelming obstacle.

The fiery Aries energy is here to support you. Now.

Take this opportunity to set an intention to consciously start your progress in this area—you have already laid the groundwork.

The Crone Speaks: The Hierophant

Your inner crone has seen all five Crone Moon cards, and she has something to say about it. Listen up. She doesn’t stutter.

Bob floats above a rock pool unaware of what is going on underneath. But the garden eels see him. They had been listening to the Crab and his authoritative demeanor, holding keys, wearing a big hat that appears to be scavenged from the sea. Perhaps they are symbols of convenience and not true authority? He has the air of a leader. Just like Bob being unaware of what is going on below, the crab is unaware of what is going on above and that his congregation may be noticing something that is changing their worldview. Is there life beyond the rock pool?

The Hierophant card traditionally symbolizes authority, rules, tradition, and denouncing outside beliefs. This fits into our whole Crone life view and what the cards have asked us to do.

We are the ones interpreting our reality. Not those who have come before us. The ones who speak the loudest and most authoritatively in the room.

Here, the crone is asking us to examine where we are on our journey closely. Are we taking the road of viewing the larger world to expand our perspective like the eels? Are we taking the road of the crab and clinging to our beliefs and ignoring what is going on around us? Or are we oblivious to it all like Bob and going about our lives and journey without even pondering these questions?

Aries doesn’t let you float above it all like Bob, unbothered. It wants an answer. The crone demands you consider which one you are right now, and what are you going to do about it.

Putting It All Together:

So, what’s a crone to do?

No matter where we look, we keep landing on the same message. You are stronger and freer than you give yourself credit for. The only thing standing in your way is the old version of you.

Every Aries instinct is saying you shouldn’t allow stillness or celebrate it, but the stillness is a gift. It is what lets us notice the old traps we fall into out of habit. Remember that what feels like a cage may be a door you’ve simply not thought to try.

Remember to stop searching for strength outside of yourself. Release any tendencies to believe you will only succeed if you rely on others and their opinions at this time. The answers are in you, and in a perspective shift. You don’t need permission to break free and make the changes you have been wanting to make.

The Aries Crone Moon teaches us that we don’t need to wait any longer to make a change. In your quiet moments of contemplation, the change has already started. It may take a little longer to fully realize it, but if you choose to listen to the little voice inside you, you may just set positive changes into motion. Ask yourself which doors are truly locked, and which you have just never tested. You may be able to walk into a better situation stronger and more independently than you thought.

Be bold and fearless, fellow crones.

We will touch base again on August 5^th’s Crone Moon in Virgo to celebrate all you accomplish this month and use Virgo’s energy for a more in-depth analysis of our crone journey.

Journal Prompts

The crone does not assign homework. But if you want to go deeper, here are some questions worth sitting with.

• What have you been holding back on out of fear or because it’s “always been done that way?”

• Where have you felt you are trapped or stuck right now? Are you really, or is it that you haven’t taken the time to look at it from a new perspective?

• What groundwork have you laid knowingly or not, that will help you change patterns that no longer serve you?

Which card in this reading spoke to you, and why do you think it found you? Tell me in the comments.

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

I took a deep breath and left the apartment I had moved into from across the country just a few weeks before.

It was July 1

I was an intern crossing the threshold from medical school to actually being a doctor. This was supposed to be one of the scariest days of my life.

But—that was going to be August 1 for me when I started my first hospital ward rotation. Today, I was driving up to the idyllic geriatrics hospital set in the woods about a mile from the busy medical center. The one where Driving Ms. Daisy was filmed. I’d wanted to be a geriatrician since day 2 of medical school. This residency had one of only two geriatrics hospitals in the country associated with a training program. Having my first rotation of residency there was an aspiring crone’s dream come true.

I didn’t see a single patient on July 1. Instead, I toured the hospital with a group of Japanese doctors and administrators who wanted to see how an American geriatrics hospital operated. I got a high-level overview of everything the hospital did (and free lunch!) I was on cloud 9.

I suffered through three long years of internal medicine training after that. It made me a good doctor, but I still have PTSD from parts of it. There are several horrific patient cases that will stick with me forever, several rants from ICU and cardiology attendings that will also stick with me forever, and several trauma bonded best friends who will stick with me forever.

Then, Hallelujah!

Residency was over and I was starting my geriatric medicine fellowship!

That July 1, I had only a weekend to move across the country between residency and fellowship. Instead of agonizing over appearances, I was just thankful for a shower and non-rumpled clothes. The day again started with a tour. Coming from a residency mostly within a large under resourced and understaffed community hospital, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Each facility was nicer than the next, but the people were what gave me a gut-punch of happiness. There were more geriatricians than I’d ever seen in one spot, and even geriatric psychiatrists! The clinical sites were staffed with multiple geriatrics trained social workers, nurses, and pharmacists. Enough people to actually help you care for the patients with dignity and respect—the hospital’s slogan.

I had found my people and the mask I had put on for internal medicine started to slip.

By the end of the day, I had the song from Annie ‘I think I’m gonna like it here’ stuck in my head. I went home, pulled out my laptop, and listened to it on youtube on repeat. I’d worn out the VHS tape as a kid and was glad I didn’t have to rewind youtube.

Fast forward about ten years

I was now the grand poohbah of geriatric medicine training at my institution. As the fellowship program director, I spent hundreds of hours planning for each new class. I would play the song on my way into work each July 1, hoping to give them their Annie moment that day and ease their residency PTSD throughout the rest of the year.

Being a program director was the best part of my job, but also the hardest. I had to answer all the questions, handle the frustrations of the fellows and faculty, and constantly find ways to make things better. Nobody was ever happy. You know the kind of job where you work forever on something and people only notice your hard work when there is a minor flaw—but they aren’t willing to help fix it?

But the fellows made it all worth it. They have all gone on to do amazing things, and I hope that by teaching them, I somehow have helped many more patients than I ever could have on my own.

As my inner crone began to surface, I dyed my now short hair purple. I decided it was time to stop not just doing all the things but also leading all the things. I handed over the fellowship program in February, gave up research projects, directorships, and committee memberships. Then, I left my primary institution.

So, this July 1, where will I be?

Starting over. Part time. Teaching only.

My first day at a new institution. Onboarding, just like everyone else.

I won’t be in charge of anything—not a training program, not clinical innovations, not research. I just get to do what I love: teach and help medical students figure out what they want to be when they grow up, and more importantly how they want to be when they grow up.

This July 1, I stand at a threshold. I spent time thinking about what I’m going to wear—just like the first July 1. My hair still has purple highlights, but they are fading, and I’m debating turning it brown again (another mask to fit in), keeping it purple, or finding some sort of middle ground. I’m trying to figure out how much of myself I can bring to this new job. Will bringing my authentic self hurt me professionally? I don’t know. But I wish I had seen a doctor letting her mask slip for crone-spiration when I was in my rumpled white coat.

July 1 is medicine’s threshold. But every life has one.

Where is your threshold like a July 1? Where is your mask starting to slip?

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

I’m writing to you from vacation. It is the night of the summer solstice, and I’m sitting on my hotel balcony listening to the ocean waves crash. The ocean is out there somewhere, but I cannot see it in the ink-black sky. The moon and stars are obscured by a thick cloud cover. Everything is dark and still, and my family is fast asleep.

I’m sitting here with a memento from a long-ago beach trip. It was to Gulf Shores aka “The Redneck Riviera,” where I stayed in a hotel in between two bars, the Pink Pony and the Flora-Bama. I was in college, but not on a crazy Spring Break trip. I was with 20+ rowdy Cajun female family members, and I stayed with the ones who were 60+. I was their mascot and their DD—a crone in training.

They called themselves the Zeaux Zeauxs—a play on the French word for bird (aka lady bits). Watching my 80+ year old Great Aunt dance in the sand during our talent show while I played When the Saints Go Marching In on my saxophone is now a core memory. Yes, the 20+ of us had a talent show in our hotel, on our patio facing the ocean, and the audience was a bunch of confused hotel patrons.

On our last trip, we all got candles of an older buxom bathing beauty. Mine survived through the years, and I brought her on my current beach trip to celebrate the solstice with me.

My solstice obsession goes back to a 3^rd grade book report on Stonehenge. I was one of those kids who was obsessed with Stonehenge, wanted to believe the Loch Ness monster was real, and was sincerely worried about the Bermuda Triangle.

But seriously, how did the ancient people move those stones so far? And why did they build a giant circle that is perfectly aligned with the sun on both the summer and the winter solstice—on top of a burial ground? Curious 9-year-olds want to know. Maybe one day, I’ll join the thousands of revelers on the summer solstice who watch the sun rise over the “heel stone” and get some answers.

Being on the beach during solstice this year was a happy coincidence. It wasn’t until after the trip was booked that I realized we would be here on the longest day of the year. Cool! What a place to see the sun.

I thought watching the sunrise on the beach would be the perfect way to celebrate the solstice. I packed my Zeaux Zeaux candle and Tarot of the Tides deck—a very cute deck that tells the story of Bob, a rubber duckie lost at sea. If the real Zeaux Zeauxs knew I had those cards they would turn over in their graves.

The plan was to go to the beach, pull cards for myself and one for you, and maybe do a sun salutation while watching the sunrise.

The sun had other ideas.

I was stoked I didn’t sleep through my alarm. I walked out to the balcony to check the skies and my jaw dropped. The skies over the ocean were glowing purple and crackling with lightning.

The rain and lightning were miles away in the gulf. But I’d planned, I’d packed, and I’d miraculously woken up before sunrise. I was committed. So, I grabbed my phone and my tarot cards, stuck them in a Ziploc bag to keep them dry in case of rain, and headed out to the beach.

Maybe other people knew it was the solstice. Maybe not. Either way, I was alone on the beach with a storm on the horizon.

Well, not exactly. There was someone else out there celebrating the solstice. A coyote was playing in the surf about 100 yards from me, spinning and leaping in the waves. When it saw me, we shared a look, then it bolted for the sand dunes and I was alone again.

I scrapped my plans for tarot and a sun salutation. The wind was whipping my hair around so hard I could barely see. If I had pulled out the cards they would have been lost to the ocean, just like the hero of the deck, Bob the duck.

The lightning had slowed. It was so far away, I couldn’t even hear the thunder. The flashes of purple were now backlit by a beautiful pinkish red glow. Was that the sunrise?

The same clouds that refracted all the beautiful purple light in the storm had blocked out the sun. Only a diffuse glow was visible. I waited and hoped for the clouds to part, but eventually I gave up and went back to my room and back to sleep. Nobody even noticed I left.

When I woke up again, it was raining. The pool was closed for lightning. The clouds were thick and the sky was gray. The wind stayed strong. Eventually the rain and lightning dissipated. So we pretended the bad weather never happened and headed to the beach and the pool.

We didn’t stay on the beach long—the wind was kicking sand up into our faces. I actually got a chill getting out of the pool. In South Texas. On the summer solstice.

Guess what? I never saw the sun. Not once.

Then, around 8pm, I was floating in the pool, and I noticed a blue patch of sky. What did I see in that small opening? The moon.

Defeated, and at the last minute, I walked to the front of the hotel to see the western sky at sunset. Just another red glow obscured by clouds.

It reminds me of another disappointing solar event. We lived in the zone of totality for the last full solar eclipse. Everyone was pumped. We got our eclipse glasses and went into our backyard to watch and wait. We waited…and we waited…and the sun coquettishly hid behind the clouds that day too.

Even on two of his biggest days, the sun was like, nah. I’m not feeling it. I don’t need to perform for you. Instead, he brings an epic lightning storm and covers himself in clouds. Then he sends the moon as a stand-in for the few minutes the clouds part.

How badass is that.

Most people think of the sun as masculine and static. Today, he had pretty kick ass crone energy. Remember—cronehood isn’t about age or gender. It is a state of mind.

The solstice made me realize he isn’t static at all. He has cycles of growth and decline. Today was his peak, and tomorrow he begins his descent into the crone-half of the solar year.

But damn. I really wish he would have let me see him.

P.S. The weather didn’t let me see the sun today or let me draw you a tarot card on the beach. But my Zeaux Zeaux candle wanted to show you “The Sun” from my amazing rubber duckie deck. Do you see Bob in the very bottom left of the card? Enjoy and happy solstice!

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

I’m excited to announce that I was just level 1 Reiki certified!

A year ago, I never dreamed I would unironically write that sentence, but a year ago I had not yet released my inner crone.

Today I am going to take all you crones on a deep dive into articles that illustrate the tension between the scientific and the Reiki community, and give my thoughts on how we could bridge that gap.

Reiki and Me

The first time I heard the word Reiki was during my internal medicine residency orientation. During one of those “share 3 interesting things about yourself” icebreakers that everyone hates, one of my new coresidents said she was a Reiki Master. We looked at her like WTF is Reiki? When she said it was energy healing where you hovered your hands over someone, we scoffed.

That incident clearly made an impression on me as I remember it (**cough cough**) number of years later. Looking back on it, I want to apologize to my co-resident, the amazing Reiki Master internist. You are awesome, and your patients are lucky to have such a talented and open-minded physician.

Fast forward to me, the scoffer, in my Reiki Level 1 certification course. I not only quickly consumed all the course materials, but I also read 2 reiki books, listened to 1 audio book and 1 podcast series, and read multiple online resources.

While nerding out, I kept seeing the same clearly bad science quoted almost verbatim in each source—The Masaru Emoto water experiments. More on Emoto later including, why his studies make my head explode, contribute to people scoffing when they hear the word Reiki, and do a major disservice to the Reiki community.

Synchronicity

Within an hour of getting my Reiki 1 certificate via email, I also got an email invitation to peer-review an article for the leading academic journal in my field. I peer-review for them about every 6 weeks, so that invitation wasn’t unusual. But seeing the emails back-to-back sparked an idea.

What if I wrote a post where I reviewed Reiki studies?

Confirmatory synchronicity—Just as I was putting the finishing touches on this post, I got a text asking me to teach my annual ‘how to give a journal club’ to the statewide palliative care fellowship consortium for the fifth year in a row (aka teach all the palliative care physician trainees in the state how to evaluate and report literature). Of course I said yes. I love geeking out and teaching others to geek out.

I think the universe is telling me I was meant to write this and that you were meant to read it. Buckle up, Buttercup.

Enter today’s post.

I started off thinking I was going to compare the Emoto water experiments with a high-quality Reiki study and share tips on how to identify good and bad science.

I worried it was a little dry and I almost shelved the idea.

But everything took a hilarious turn when I found the editorial below.

We HAVE to go down the rabbit hole together.

I’m going to take you on a journey through the most bonkers editorial I have ever seen in an academic journal, the Emoto experiments, what I found when I went looking for good Reiki science, and what I still want to see.

I stumbled across the unhinged editorial while trying to take a methodical approach to finding high quality Reiki studies. I went to PubMed, the primary database for health science journals, and I put in the MeSH Term “reiki therapy.” 349 Articles popped up dating back to 1994.

For those not used to searching PubMed, 349 is not a lot of articles for a broad topic area like this.

I started scanning the titles and journals to narrow things down. I was looking for articles in top journals (NEJM, JAMA, Annals, etc).

Nada.

So, I looked for articles from decent journals (ie no newsletters, predatory journals, non-peer-reviewed journals, etc.). I decided not to include articles from journals with words like complementary, alternative, and holistic in the title. Those journals aren’t necessarily bad. I was just hoping to find something in “mainstream medicine” for the skeptics.

Then It Happened

I was stopped in my tracks by article #255. Witchcraft and Reiki: Voodoo Economics and Voodoo Healing. After skimming tons of dry scientific titles you would probably pause there too.

In the name of nerd-dom and methodology, I forced myself to keep skimming all 349 titles and journals. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the Witchcraft and Voodoo title.

When I finished, 18 of the 349 articles fit my criteria, but there was only one article I wanted to read immediately. The witchcraft, reiki, and voodoo one.

I highly encourage you all to read it. You will laugh. You will cry. You will scream. Maybe not in that order.

Introducing the Bonkers Editorial

We are going to talk about an editorial in the FASEB Journal (Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology) written by the Editor-in-Chief.

FASEB is not a top journal, but it is considered in the top quarter in its field. It is peer-reviewed and respectable.

The first page signals how unhinged it is better than I ever could, so I posted it here for you.

It opens with the images: The Sleep of Reason by Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, and a picture of James Russell Lowell, a Harvard Professor who wrote “Witchcraft” in the 1800s. Check out the highlighted quotes after that including one from George H.W. Bush.

Even laypeople can see this is not the typical editorial from the editor-in-chief of a respectable medical journal

Now Let’s Jump to the Main Text

We immediately encounter a long quote from Pope Benedict XVI about child abuse in Angola. You will come to find out Weissmann loves quotes. This particular quote is quite graphic and disturbing.

Weissmann uses the Pope’s quote to argue that the horrible torture and killing of children in Angola accused of witchcraft are due to Voodoo practices and beliefs.

But what does the Pope actually say?

The Pope laments that this atrocity is happening in the African country with the highest percentage of Catholics. He says Angolan voodoo practices mix fetish worship with Catholic symbols and much of the population retains its ancient belief in the power of witches and sorcerers. He does not say Voodoo practitioners are perpetrating the violence. He says the accusations of witchcraft, violent exorcisms, and child abuse come at the hands of Pentecostal clerics.

But what does Weissmann take from it?

He chooses to blame the religious tradition least familiar to himself and to his Western readers for this egregious human rights crisis.

This sleight of hand—intentional or not—made me pause.

But wait! He takes it to a whole new inflammatory level

Weissmann conflates the “voodoo-related” human rights violations in Angola with the “comeback” of witchcraft in Massachusetts. He says the witches in Massachusetts “favor” Reiki. Then he says Harvard is doing “voodoo healing.”

What is this voodoo healing? You guessed it, Reiki!

Voodoo and Reiki do have a lot in common. I can see why he confused them. I mean, both of their negative western stereotypes are rooted in racism. Voodoo gets a bad rap tracing back to the slave trade and the Haitian slave rebellion. Reiki came to America during WWII when we were simultaneously putting Japanese Americans in internment camps and denigrating all things Japanese. Both are “other” traditions which makes them scary.

Whew. That is a lot. If you need a moment to process the leaps in logic, go ahead and walk around the block, take a sip of your favorite calming tea, or primal scream into a pillow—your choice.

Moving on to Witches of the World Unite

In the next section, Weissmann pivots to a piece in the Harvard Medical School’s Health News Letter recommending Reiki. He shares a benign sounding quote from the newsletter discussing practitioners ‘using gentle touch with the intent of affecting the body’s energy fields…in an ordered sequence.’

Weissmann’s response to the quote and the newsletter:

Twaddle? Bewilderment? A warning from the Pope akin to the one in Angola? Awash in witches, sorcerers, and Reiki fanciers?

Weissmann then talks about several modern-day witch groups in Massachusetts. He seems upset they focus on friendship, acceptance, and spiritual healing.

He really zeros in on this guy, Christopher Penczak who had the audacity to write a book titled “Magick** of Reiki: Focused Energy for Healing Ritual and Spiritual Development,” AND (gasp!) hold a book signing.

Weissmann gives a quote from Mr. Penczak and frames it as Mr. Penczak rejecting science. In the quote Mr. Penczak claimed Reiki healing can occur on emotional, mental, or spiritual levels. He does not say Reiki works on a physical level or that it replaces medicine.

** Note Penczak spells Magick with a K (as does Weissmann for most of his editorial). Magick with a K is different from Magic. Magick is a modern Western Occult practice related to Aleister Crowley (a very problematic dude).

In the same section, Weissmann shifts his ire to Harvard’s Dana-Farber Institute. Why? They had the audacity to put side effects of Reiki therapy on their website, just like they would for any other medical treatment.

My Two Favorite Weissmann Quotes Are Up Next

When talking about the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM), Weissmann lifts what appears to be an incomplete quote from their website talking about distance Reiki.

His hot take on it.

I tried to access that source that made him say this, a now defunct NCCAM website from 2009. The current page says: “Reiki hasn’t been clearly shown to be effective for any health-related purpose. It has been studied for a variety of conditions, including pain, anxiety, and depression, but most of the research has not been of high quality, and the results have been inconsistent.”

Next, he declares

Why does he compare Reiki moving through Massachusetts to a 2004 rabies outbreak in the area?

Well, there is a Witch School in Provincetown “a stone’s throw” from the “labs at Woods Hole,” and he says “where magick thrives there lives Reiki.”

Really?

Why does it matter if there is a witch school near a lab? Does he think they are hexing the experiments?

And has this guy ever heard of a Venn diagram?

The Next Section Almost Seems Like it Will Land.

But…We Already Know it Won’t.

Weissmann quotes a Lowell 1868 essay on the Salem witch trials

Weissmann’s purpose for using this quote is to say people should be incredulous about modern witchcraft in Massachusetts because it is a flight of fancy, and they should be incredulous of witchcraft in Angola and old Salem because it invokes terror. He is saying no matter which way you view witchcraft (and by his logic Reiki) it is bunk.

I interpreted the quote in relation to Weissmann’s credulity. This article is his flight of fancy, and it is capitalizing off others’ credible terror.

Bringing it Home With Voodoo Economics

Weissmann starts this section by singing the praises of Lowell for a few paragraphs. Cool. The dude could write.

Weissmann’s selected quotes from Lowell here reveal that Lowell attributed the witch-hunts in Salem to ageism, the patriarchy, and capitalism (those are modern terms, but I’m writing for a modern audience).

Ageism: Weissmann shares a quote by Lowell by talking about the short life expectancy in Salem and how those who lived longer were an anomaly, a biological curiosity and had been described as having made a pact with the devil.

Patriarchy: Lowell seems to describe society’s views of “Nasty Women,” especially older ones about 150 years before the term was coined.

“Unhappily there were always ugly old women; and if you crossed them in any way or did them a wrong…they could send a demon into your body, who would cause you to vomit pins, hair, pebbles, or knives.”

Capitalism: Lowell was pretty forward thinking. He hinted at witch-hunts being tied to the “trade in souls.” Each soul is an entity to be “saved” or “lost,” hence the unholy contracts with witches and the devil.

Weissmann ties the concept of the “trade in souls” to the economics of witchcraft and Reiki today. Not the sales of candles, crystals, services, etc, but grant funding through NCCAM. He cites over half a billion dollars spent in the previous four years funding “voodoo sciences such as Reiki, aromatherapy, and homeopathy.” Money he claims is being taken from “cures” to diseases, based on one negative fibromyalgia study. Someone who edits a peer-reviewed journal should KNOW that one study is not enough to draw any real conclusions.

He chooses to wrap up his 4-page tirade with a quote from George H. W. Bush. Because at this point, why not?

His editorial was retracted two months later on August 1, 2009.

This is all the retraction said:

“In the article, “Witchcraft and Reiki: Voodoo Economics and Voodoo Healing,” by Gerald Weissmann, which appeared in the June 2009 issue of The FASEB Journal (doi: 10.1096/fj.09 – 0601ufm), the word “Reagonomics” appearing on pages 1620 –1621, should be spelled “Reaganomics.” This article has been corrected online. doi: 10.1096/fj.09-0601ufmerr”

What a reason for a retraction. It wasn’t the racist conflation of unrelated cultural traditions. It wasn’t the dismissal of an entire field based on one study. It wasn’t even the misspelling of Rieki earlier in the editorial. The correction was for the spelling of Reaganomics.

That Editorial Was Bonkers. But How Does This Apply To Crones?

As messed-up as this editorial is, it inadvertently makes a good point about Cronedom.

If you are a crone, congratulations! You have likely made it past the average life-span of people in Angola and old Salem.

In both places, people didn’t live much beyond 40. When people don’t live very long, those who orbit the sun the most times appear unnatural. It is not a big jump to call them supernatural.

By virtue of our age, many of us crones would be accused of witchcraft 325 years ago.

Are we avoiding the accusations now because, at least in the west, there are more crones per capita?

Maybe, maybe not. We have other names for it now. Nasty Woman, assertive, bitch, etc. If you are older, you are typically on the margins, and you do not make yourself small for others or care what they think? Guess what? You are a witch. Not literally, but if you actually are I love that for you!

And what is wrong with being a witch? I mean, there are days that I wish I could send a demon into someone who “crossed [me] in any way or did [me] a wrong” to make them “vomit pins, hair, pebbles, or knives.”

Why is Science Hating on Woo and Reiki so Much?

We have scientific purists, like Weissmann, arguing only data, logic, and “counting” matter. And we have people like Reiki practitioners talking about what “counts” and not how to count it.

Similar. Different. Both very much needed to help the human condition.

Weissmann’s vitriol and the people who allowed it to be published make it clear why people in the woo community don’t like or trust science.

But what gets people in the scientific community so riled up against the woo?

Some of it seems to come down to language. Putting on my doctor hat “healing” has a very different meaning to me than when I put on my Reiki hat. One deals with cures and evidence-based improvements of the physical. The other deals with spiritual and emotional healing—that sometimes can assist with physical healing too.

Just like Weissmann wading into territory he didn’t know about with spirituality and ultimately sounding foolish, the woo community sounds foolish when it wades into science territory.

Speaking of Sounding Foolish—Masaru Emoto. Don’t people. Just don’t.

Emoto tried to prove that water responds to words and intention. The appeal isn’t irrational. It is a gorgeous idea, water making beautiful crystals in response to love. The problem is it was never tested rigorously enough to know if it is true.

His work is touted in tons of publications about Reiki. It is repeatedly used to “prove” Reiki works.

I’d much rather hear I don’t have proof Reiki works, but it makes me feel good rather than for people to quote such shitty “science.” Shitty science is fodder for skeptics like Weissmann point to as a reason to tear down funding opportunities for good science and expansion of Reiki.

Excuse my French. I feel strongly about pseudoscience.

Pseudoscience is used to justify things like refusing life-saving healthcare and vaccines (THEY DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM), denying climate science, and darker things like eugenics. Note—I am not comparing Emoto to eugenicists. He is promoting light and love. His methods are just misguided.

Why do I dislike the propagation of Emoto’s work in the Reiki world?

Well, within the first 30 seconds of hearing about it my bullshit detector went wild. Like I literally felt the heat rise in my body and my chest tighten. And this is after I already bought into Reiki enough to be in a training. Imagine people who have dug their heels in as skeptics.

So let me talk you through why Emoto’s work caused a visceral response.

First, his methodology is so poor he couldn’t even get it published in a peer review journal. Not a single peer-reviewed article.

Emoto has 2 PubMed indexed articles.

The first is a photo essay in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine. Yes, this is a peer-reviewed journal, but a photo essay is not a study. It also seems to promote his book?

The second is in Explore (NY) a non-peer reviewed, predatory journal (aka) a journal that constantly solicits articles and charges people to publish. Currently Explore (NY)’s website says it costs $2510 to publish an article with them.

In his photoessay “study” he “proves” that Reiki changes the structure of water. How? He wrote words like “Love & Thanks” or “Devil” or “You Fool” on slips of paper in different languages and wrapped them around water bottles for 24 hours. He froze them and said the positive words made beautiful crystal under the microscope and the negative ones made no crystals or the crystals weren’t beautiful. He did the same thing with classical and heavy-metal music.

Hmm…

As someone who has done microscopy in a research lab before, I know you can just scroll until you find a pretty picture that backs up your hypothesis. No mention of his methodology to prevent this.

His predatory journal publication uses a lot of words that sound scientific starting with the Title: Double-blind test of the effects of distant intention on water crystal formation. There are so many things wrong with this study I’m just going to bold each part that sets off my Spidey-sense and italicize the words that are meant to make it sound scientific.

He has 100 people do a prayer of intention over 2 bottles of Fiji water and leave 2 un-prayed over. It takes him 36 hours to ship the bottles to his lab. Then he freezes the water in petri dishes in a walk-in freezer. Okay—if you want to freeze a process in a scientific study you do it immediately. He takes the apex of the drops from each petri dish and looks at them under a stereo-optical microscope. 40 pictures are taken from the bottles (different numbers of pictures from each bottle). He says they did not take pictures from the bottles with no crystalline shapes. He says the person taking the pictures is blinded but in the discussion, he says the water from each bottle was grouped together in the freezer. He has 100 people blinded to assess how beautiful each crystal image is on a scale of 1-6. He defines beautiful as symmetric and aesthetically pleasing shapes. (Good for him defining terms—kind of). He randomizes the order of the pictures. BTW he doesn’t describe the judges or say how they were selected. He justifies their judgment by confirming it with a group of 100 other judges. In the discussion he admits what they did was subjective.

Another Water Study?

Another group of scientists tried to replicate the study in a more rigorous way. Instrumental Measurements of Water and the Surrounding Space During a Randomized Blinded Controlled Trial of Focused Intention. They used fancier equipment and methods that sounded almost plausible. They even used sham and control water too.

But…this group only reported the results for the experimental water. Doh!!!

No sham reporting. No control reporting. No comparisons between groups. Something is fishy.

Okay, so these water studies suck. What about studies on people?

Well, remember how I found those 18 articles on my quick first pass in PubMed? I went back to read them. Not a single one had sound methodology.

I tried other search terms, and I came up with one potential—but it was behind a paywall and my institution didn’t subscribe to the journal. So, I put in an interlibrary loan request. In total I looked for about 3 hours using all the search tips and tricks I knew and found nothing else.

In that search, I came across two Cochrane reviews. If you don’t know what Cochrane reviews are, they are considered the gold-standard of systematic reviews in health-care research.

Cool! Maybe I missed a study, and these reviews would point me in the right direction.

Well nuts.

The first review says there is insufficient evidence to say whether or not Reiki is useful in people over 16 years of age with anxiety, depression, or both. The other said “We are uncertain if Reiki plus analgesia compared with analgesia alone has any effect on pain, adverse effects, vital signs, or rescue analgesic requirement because the quality of evidence is very low (one study, 90 women).

This One Has Potential

Just as I lost all hope, the interlibrary loan came through. It was for an article published 4 months ago looking at the impact of Reiki on analgesic use, blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rate in ventilator patients in an ICU.

Karacan Y, Parlak AG, Ertem AC. Effect of Reiki on Pain, Anxiety, and Hemodynamic Parameters in Mechanically Ventilated Patients: A Randomized, Single-Blind, and Placebo-Controlled Trial. J Integr Complement Med. 2026 Feb;32(2):165-173. doi: 10.1177/27683605251384808. Epub 2026 Feb 18. Erratum in: J Integr Complement Med. 2026 Feb 28:27683605261422726. doi: 10.1177/27683605261422726. PMID: 41051913.

This is the best study I have found. Why? The population is sedated. They cannot fake their responses—especially their vital sign responses. It is sham controlled. The scales used for their pain and anxiety scores are validated. They use appropriate statistics. They acknowledge (most) of their limitations.

Oh, and this manuscript had an errata too. It was due to an error re-formatting their tables after a peer reviewer had them go back and fix their statistics. A far cry from the retraction for the Weissmann article because of “Reaganomics.”

Their main limitation—the bedside nurse was the one who knew whether the patient was getting real or sham Reiki. And guess who decides if a patient needs pain meds and gives them? The bedside nurse. The study’s most impressive finding was that 1 out of 30 Reiki patients needed pain meds and 13 out of 30 sham Reiki patients needed pain meds. But the bedside nurse’s double role is troublesome.

But this was by far the best I could find.

So, after the water studies, other poorly designed studies, and overall lack of evidence, you can see why the scientific community is leery of Reiki. And the way the scientific community talks about Reiki you can see why they are leery of science.

What is a scientifically minded Crone interested in Reiki to do????

I teach my trainees to end every journal club with the study they’d design to fix what’s broken. Here’s mine.

A real double-blinded RCT where nobody, not the participants, not the research team, knows who’s getting the real thing. Four arms: real Reiki, sham Reiki, distance Reiki (kept blind to their own waitlist status), and an actual waitlist control. A clearly described population, with real inclusion and exclusion criteria, so we know who we’re talking about. One or two primary outcomes, chosen in advance. I’d want them to be physiologic like vital signs, cortisol, inflammatory markers, maybe something looking at connective tissue, since that’s where practitioners say the energy moves. Everything else like pain, anxiety, depression, quality of life can be secondary, not primary, because these subjective measures are too easy to wish into significance. A power calculation, so they actually enroll enough people to find something real if it’s there. Full reporting of all the data, not just the flattering parts. Honest limitations. Transparent funding — NIH, a Reiki foundation, big pharma, Jeff Bezos, whoever, just tell us. And most of all: a willingness to be wrong.

If you want to build something like this yourself, the CONSORT guidelines exist for exactly that. If you just want to get better at reading studies and sharpening your bullshit detector, the JAMA Users Guide to the Medical Literature will do it.

In Conclusion

Maybe someday people will study Reiki in a way that fits these criteria and holds up to scrutiny. And maybe that is the day that science and woo can live together in harmony. The ICU Reiki from 4 months ago gives me hope.

After reading this post, it may seem like I am anti-reiki. I am not. I am anti-science hating on the woo without exploring it. I am anti-woo claiming science backs them up and using pseudoscience as proof.

I will close with the last question I like to ask when interpreting a study.

Will it change my clinical practice? No.

I will not let the literature we reviewed here cause me to abandon my Reiki practice. I am a proud academic geriatrician and a proud Reiki 1 certified practitioner who hopes to become Reiki 2 certified at some point! Both worlds can exist together if we keep open minds and hearts.

THE END

If you made it this far, you probably have been thinking deeply about how we interpret science. Maybe even how we interpret everything in our daily lives. If so, I will leave you with a journal prompt to help you work through those thoughts:

Have you ever dismissed or accepted something without really looking at it? What made you so sure you didn’t need to?

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The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.

The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.

You’ll notice my last post was a Crone Moon Tarot Spread. This is here to explain it as I will be pulling these tarot spreads each Crone Moon and giving you journal prompts for reflection going into the next month.

You may be asking yourself WTF is a Crone Moon? Why tarot and what is it? What does she mean by “in Pisces?” This is my attempt to explain to you. We will go from moon science, to moon mythology, to a little astrology, to why tarot, and end with an explanation of the spread. Feel free to jump around and refer back in the future. You don’t have to memorize it. In the end, the moon and the crone moon are a vibe. You can always refer back here for a nerdy vibe check.

Moon Science

Back to the basics. Websters dictionary defines the moon as: The earth’s natural satellite that shines by the sun’s reflected light, revolves about the earth from west to east in about 29½ days with reference to the sun or about 27⅓ days with reference to the stars, and has a diameter of 2160 miles (3475 kilometers), a mean distance from the earth of about 238,900 miles (384,400 kilometers), and a mass about one eightieth that of the earth.

That is a mouthful, and it is doing a lot of the work for me. I was just going to say the moon is a really big, really old rock and crack a joke about green cheese.

Fun fact. The moon has been in constant free fall towards the Earth for about 4.5 billion years. Gravity constantly pulls it towards us, and it is moving just fast enough not to death spiral into us making us go the way of the dinosaurs. It is also moving slow enough to not go flying off into the great beyond.

Every culture has their own myth about the creation of the moon. Modern Science’s current theory is the Giant Impact Hypothesis. Click here for a very scientific reference from Nature (top scientific journal). Click here for laymen’s terms from Wikipedia (easy to understand but not always accurate).

Remember how the moon has been in freefall for 4.5 billion years? Well, it all started when a planet about the size of Mars smashed into the Earth. The Earth then flung rocks into our orbit that eventually coalesced into the moon.

There are so many cool things about that.

1. The moon is actually made from the Earth.

2. The moon is in constant freefall. Remember that scary stress dream when I described The Moon Tarot Card in the Crone Moon in Pisces Pull. Constant freefall for billions of years sure sounds like a fever-dream to me. Symbology can be based in reality.

3. The planet that smashed into earth is named after the Greek Titaness Theia who was the mother of Selene, the moon goddess. I love Greek mythology. Stick around and you will hear more of it.

Another cool moon fact. The moon does not create its own light. Moonlight is actually reflected sunlight. Ever heard of the “dark side of the moon?” One half of the moon never receives sunshine because the sun can only illuminate the side facing it. We see different moon shapes during the lunar cycle because as the moon rotates around the earth, the angle between us, the moon, and the sun changes. This changing angle shows us changing proportions of the light and dark side of the moon.

We typically think of the moon phases starting with the new (dark) moon. This is when the moon is directly between the sun and the Earth. The sun shines just on the side we cannot see, and we only see the dark side of the moon. As the moon orbits the Earth we begin to see more and more of the illuminated side (waxing phase) until the moon is on the opposite side of the Earth as the sun. At this point none of the dark side of the moon is visible and we see the entirety of the illuminated side (full moon). As the orbit continues, we again see more and more of the dark side of the moon in the waning phase until the moon returns back to a new moon after 29.5 days.

Once I got more into the woo, I found myself asking why the zodiac cycle is a different length than the lunar cycle. Like, I literally had a hard time falling asleep one night thinking about it. In case any of you have that burning question, I looked it up for us.

Turns out that the zodiac cycle (sideral month) is 27.3 days because it is based purely on the Moon’s orbit relative to the fixed stars. This orbit makes the moon appear to move in the sky about 13 degrees per night (or between each 30 degree zodiac sign every 2-2.5 days).

But—this is what made my head explode until I looked it up—the lunar cycle (synodal month) is 29.5 days. It is the same moon moving around the same Earth, right? Yes—but remember that the moon phases change because the angle between us, the moon, and the sun changes? That “little” bit of extra distance the moon has to travel is what adds the extra time.

Making Meaning of the Moon

Throughout time, humans have been obsessed with the moon.

The moon, however, is much more mysterious. First off—it only comes out in the dark. Already spooky. When the moon returns each night, it looks different than the night before. And if you watch it closely, you notice there is a pattern to the way it changes shape. Interesting…

The moon starts as nothing and grows until it is fully round and then it shrinks back to nothing. It isn’t a big leap to tie this to the life cycle, whether it is crops, animals, or people. So, cultures around the world did exactly that, mapping the moon cycle onto the life cycle. New Moon=birth/beginnings, Waxing=growth, Full=peak/adulthood, Waning=death/endings.

Moon and Greek Mythology

Remember how I mentioned the planet Theia smashing into Earth to make the moon? Well, it was named for the Titaness Goddess Theia in Greek Mythology. Theia was the mother of Selene, the goddess of the moon. Selene’s siblings were Helios, the sun god, and Eos, the goddess of the dawn and together they represented the day/night cycle. Selene made sure we saw the moon in the night sky every night by flying her moon chariot across the heavens driven by two snow-white horses.

But wait! Selene isn’t the only Greek moon goddess. The most recent moon mission was appropriately named. Artemis is the goddess of the moon, hunting, and wilderness. Unlike Selene who is depicted as the full moon, Artemis (a virgin/maiden goddess) is depicted as a waxing moon.

And then there is Hecate. The OG Crone of Greek mythology. The titaness goddess of magic, witchcraft, and the night. A psychopomp who lives in liminal spaces and thresholds. In classical mythology she is associated with the waning crescent moon. However, at some point, our girl Hecate transformed into the triform goddess—or triple moon goddess.

I’m not a historian, so I don’t know how to really dig into the sources for this to tell you when this happened. I found sources saying it was in the 5^th century and others saying it was the 20^th century. So, I won’t pretend to know. All I know is that now she can either be just the waning crescent or she can be all 3 phases.

The Triple Moon Goddess

We do know that it wasn’t until the 20^th century that Robert Graves popularized the concept of the Triple Moon Goddess in his book The White Goddess. This is when the modern neopagan community shifted to map the waxing, full, waning moon specifically onto women as the “Triple Moon Goddess” rather than the life cycle in general.

In this tradition, the waxing, full, and waning moons map to stages in a woman’s life: Maiden, Mother, Crone. Note the subtle difference between birth, fertility, death as a cycle of ALL of life and maiden, mother, crone. Basically he was saying as soon as women leave childbearing age they are crones—negative connotation at the time. Patriarchy? It is no wonder that the reclamation of the word crone started not much longer after that.

The Moon and Our Emotions

Moon phases are thought to connect to our energy and inner experiences. Tracking them can allow us to feel more connected with nature and give us regular cues for reflection and growth. Despite tracking all moon cycles, culturally, people focus on the new and full moons.

When we talk about New Moon energy (Maiden), we talk about setting intentions, potential, and preparing for what is ahead. When we talk about Full Moon energy (Mother), we talk about reflecting and releasing. These moons mark the halfway points in the cycle.

Nobody talks about what a crone moon is or what to do in one. But if we are going to talk about a triple moon goddess—we need to ask why doesn’t the crone get a moon too?

As a crone myself, I want to know, and I want to find a specific time in the moon cycle to honor this archetype in us all.

The Crone Moon

The new moon and the full moon happen at very precise times, making them easier to track and to use for our reflection and growth. But there isn’t one specific date that is THE date of the waning crescent moon. The crone could claim the entire waning phase if she wanted.

So what’s a calendar conscious crone to do?

Is there a certain point in the waning crescent we would say is precisely the Crone Moon? When is the crescent crescent-y enough? I decided to short circuit this trap by claiming the last quarter moon as the Crone Moon.

Why the last quarter moon? The last quarter moon is the threshold to the waning crescent. It is perfectly liminal being half lit and half dark. The crone lives at the threshold, in the liminal, and thrives in the shadow work. Using the last quarter moon as the Crone Moon is an invitation for the crone to walk through the threshold into her power.

And here’s the thing. The Crone Moon isn’t special for being liminal. The moon is almost always liminal. Fully lit and fully dark are the rare moments. The crone has just stopped pretending otherwise.

What Does it Mean When a Moon is in a Sign?

When I post Crone Moon readings, I also discuss their astrological sign. Most of us are familiar with the 12 astrological signs but stop at knowing our sun sign. Ex. I was born in late November so I’m a Sagittarius. That just means that in the 360-degree circle that is the night sky, the Sun appeared to be aligned with the constellation Sagittarius when I was born.

As much as we hate to admit it, the world didn’t stop the second we were born. The moon keeps on moving and grooving through the sky, and in the world of astrology, the sign it is in changes the way we feel it.

Each of the 12 zodiac constellations have about 30 degrees of the 360-degree circle of the night sky. If a planet or the moon is in that 30 degrees, it is said to be in that zodiac sign. As the planets and the moon go through their orbits, their position in the zodiac signs change—some faster than others. Remember how I said the moon moves at about 13 degrees a night? Well, that correlates to it being in a zodiac sign for only 2-2.5 days at a time.

When a planet or the moon are in an astrological sign, the sign “flavors” it with different personalities or qualities. On its own, the moon represents emotions and inner life. And during the 2-2.5 days the moon spends with each sign, our emotions take on aspects of the sign.

For example, the most recent Crone Moon was in Pisces. This gave it more of a dreamy, fluid, intuitive feeling as compared to the next one in Aries which will have a more driven, impulsive, and bold feeling.

Whether you believe the moon changes behaviors or zodiac signs flavor personalities doesn’t matter. What matters is that using the framework can help you reflect on those specific aspects of yourself and your situation. We all can use more self-reflection. Astrology and the Crone Moon framework are as valid as any other framework to assist in that self-reflection. AKA shadow work.

And a crone is only as strong as her self-knowledge.

Tarot for Self-Knowledge

We just talked about how the moon can help a crone in self-reflection, but it is just one of many tools. Tarot is another useful self-reflection tool for Crones who are so inclined.

This crone doesn’t read tarot as prophecy. Just like astrology, I think of it as a tool to help in self-reflection and to understand my own mind. It helps me ask questions I would not otherwise ask myself, think about things I may be avoiding, and confront things I may not be ready to say out loud yet. Regular self-reflection is great for inner growth. The monthly Crone moon is a monthly reminder to pause and reflect on our crone journey.

I designed the six-card Crone Moon Spread as a tool to aid us in this reflection.

We will go deeper on tarot in general in another post. To help us comprehend just how nuanced it can be, check out these numbers:

Tarot is 78 cards, each carrying rich symbology. For a six-card Crone Moon reading, there are a potential 197,230,323,360 card combinations. If you read reversals, which I do, that jumps to 13,076,423,680,320.

Wow. I’d never calculated that before until I sat down to write this. My mind is kind of blown right now. When we combine this with one of the 12 astrological signs the number of combinations to interpret skyrockets. Each reading is a unique combination of symbols for us to sit with, reflect on, and use to deepen our crone powers.

The Crone Moon Spread

As I sat with the concept of the Crone Moon, I tried to think about what it can teach us. The cyclical nature lets us reflect on the prior cycle and plan for the upcoming one. I listed out concepts that went with these themes, and I chose themes for each of the six cards in the spread.

Each card can be read individually in relation to its theme. We can combine all the cards together with their themes for an overall impression of the prior cycle and the coming one. Adding the astrological sign of the Crone moon and how it flavors the reading is an extra layer of interpretation.

Each month, I will pick a deck that speaks to me (I have collected way too many decks) and draw these six cards. I will walk you through my interpretation, and you are free to interpret however you see fit. In fact, I prefer you interpret it for yourself as that is the first step to self-reflection.

In the self-reflection vein, I will also provide optional journal prompts for us to dig deeper in the themes that arise from the reading. No journaling required. Just available for those who are inclined and want to do more self-reflection.

So, without further ado, here is the spread:

Card 1: Celebrate

This card is a reminder to pause and celebrate the previous cycle and what it taught us. As we prepare to go further into the darkness and self-reflection, what should we honor in our growth through the previous month?

Card 2: Examine

Just as the moon reflects the light of the sun, this card asks us to reflect on ourselves and our current situation. What are we holding on to, and is it a positive or negative in our life? This could be logistical, emotional, spiritual, or something else. What are we clinging to, and does it make sense for us anymore?

Card 3: Release

Card 2 helped us think about what we’ve been holding on to and if it is still benefiting us. This reflection helps us with Card 3 which asks us to use our intuition to decide what we need to quietly set down before we go further on our crone journey.

Card 4: Threshold

The half-illuminated and half-dark Crone Moon is a liminal moment perfectly representing a threshold. When we reach a threshold, we have to decide if we are going through it or not. This card helps us reflect on what our threshold is and how we will proceed.

Card 5: Intention

As the moon gets darker, the distraction of the light and what we had been building melts away. It is a time to rest, reflect, and recover. If we are still and quiet in this darkness we may be able to hear our inner crone whisper to us about potential intentions and directions for action when the light returns.

Card 6: The Crone Speaks

You’ll notice cards 1-5 make out the shape of a waning crescent moon, and card 6 is off to the side. In the photos of the spread, this card is with a statue of Hecate—the OG Crone. This card is a summary of the reading. If you jump to her card, she will give you the bottom line up front. She tells us that if we take only one thing from the reading, it is what our inner crone has to say about it.

Wrapping Up

I will be pulling the Crone Moon Tarot for you each month on the last quarter moon (Crone Moon). You don’t have to remember any of this for those posts, but I will provide a link here for those who are curious. Come back whenever you need to.

The Crone is all about Audacity, Nerdiness, and Wisdom. So today I nerded out about the wisdom of the moon and tarot. Next time I will serve you more audacity.

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During the last quarter moon, let’s take a pause and reflect on what we can learn from it. I created the Crone Moon Tarot Spread to walk us through a reflection exercise, and every Crone Moon I will pull cards and we can think through what this cycle needs us to know.

Traditionally, the moon phases have been likened to the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. The waxing (growing) moon is the Maiden, the full moon is the Mother, and the waning moon (shrinking) is the Crone. The last quarter moon falls exactly halfway between the full moon and the new moon and it is half illuminated and half dark. This perfectly represents the liminal space that crones occupy. From this half-illuminated state, the light continues to retreat. The crone is not afraid of this darkness. It brings her peace as she knows this is where the real work happens.

The full explainer of moon science, phases, and symbolism and of the crone moon tarot spread will be my next post.

The Moon in Pisces

I’m super jazzed that our first Crone Moon together is in Pisces. The Crone Moon calls us to evaluate our current situation, release what no longer serves us, and realign with what does. Pair that with the Pisces dreamy, intuitive vibes, and we have the perfect setup to stop shoulding all over ourselves.

The Pisces Crone Moon is a great time for emotional release and realignment. It tells us that we don’t need to resolve things quickly, but they will resolve. Trust the process. Journal. Meditate. Recover. Take a pause before figuring out what comes next.

This is the perfect liminal Crone Moon.

What’s coming

New Moon in Gemini — June 14 Time for fresh ideas, communication, learning, and personal growth, offering a chance to set intentions and embrace curiosity.

Full Moon in Capricorn — June 29 Brings a grounded energy that encourages discipline, responsibility, and focus on long-term goals.

Next Crone Moon in Aries — July 7 Buckle up, Buttercup. The next Crone Moon brings a mix of bold action, emotional release, and structural change.

A Note on Tarot

Tarot is for entertainment and self-reflection. It does not predict the future or tell your fortune. I invite you to look at the pictures and symbols on the cards and exercise your brain to put them together in a way that is meaningful to you. Skeptics welcome.

The Deck

Today, I am using the classic Rider-Waite-Smith deck. This particular deck is the very first one I ever owned. The box has long disintegrated and I hold the cards together with a rubber band. It is well loved. Something about it called to me and felt appropriate for our first reading together.

A Note on Pentacles:

Let me take a minor detour for those of you who don’t know tarot and get a little squeaked out by the “pentacle” imagery. It is not Satanic. The pentacle/pentagram was used pre-Christianity. The famed mathematician Pythagoras used it as a symbol of health, and some Christian knights even wore the symbol. To those who created the tarot, the 5 points of the star correspond to the elements Air, Earth, Fire, and Water with the top point representing Spirit. Just as Satanists turn the Cross upside down, their version of the pentacle is also upside down. Because of the confusion about the pentagram symbolism in modern society, many tarot decks now call the suit of pentacles the suit of coins or discs.

What to Celebrate: The Seven of Pentacles

This card is a reminder to celebrate the light of the last moon cycle. What did it bring that is worth honoring before we retreat further into the darkness of the crone moon?

The Seven of Pentacles depicts a man with a hoe staring at a vine that has seven pentacles springing from it like fruit. He appears contemplative—or is he just tired? I like to think it is both and he is taking a break to admire the fruits of his labor on the vine while reflecting on the work it has taken to get here. Perhaps he is even thinking about the few last things he needs to do before he can reap the abundance of the harvest.

Additional food for thought with this card, the suit of pentacles represents the Earth element and being grounded and rooted in the physical world. That can show up in themes of money, work, health, home, etc.

So, when we think about the Seven of Pentacles in light of what to celebrate at the Crone Moon, I see it as a literal invitation to look back on our hard work and efforts of the past cycle and celebrate them, especially the ones that have not yet fully come to fruition. For example, I’m taking a moment to celebrate everything it took to start and launch Crone Powers and be grateful for the version of me who put in the work to get this off the ground. For you, it could be starting a new exercise routine, making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off, or starting a new summer routine with your family. Anything where you have laid the groundwork for success.

Can you already see how this may apply to you and something you may need to celebrate?

What to Examine: The Ace of Cups

Just as the moon reflects the light of the sun and invites us to celebrate our wins, it also reflects to us what we are holding onto and need to set down before we retreat further into the darkness.

The Ace of Cups depicts a hand appearing from the clouds presenting a large chalice. The chalice has five streams of water pouring out of it along with multiple drops and it is pooling into a body of water full of lotus blossoms. There is also a dove diving into the chalice with a wafer. Of note, those little drops of water are called yods (meaning hand), and here they are meant to symbolize emotional creation and inspiration.

This one is a little more abstract than the last card. What to make of a big sky-daddy hand with a crazy fountain cup that has a dove dive bombing it? It helps to know that in tarot, aces represent new beginnings. Cups represent the water element—the world of emotions, relationships, and creativity. And if we want to be literal about the water element—look at all those emotions spurting out of the cup and down into the big ‘ole pool of feelings. That dove on top is doing its best to keep all the new emotional energy balanced and peaceful.

So, when thinking about the Ace of Cups in relation to what we should examine as we go into the Crone Moon, let’s turn our attention to our emotions. How have we been feeling? If you are like me, this is a very scary question. The only time I notice my feelings are when the big sky-daddy cup has geysers shooting out of it instead of those cute 5 little trickles in the card. Let’s take some time to really sit with our emotional world, our relationships, and our creative endeavors. Is your cup overflowing like a tidal wave or like a peaceful fountain in a Zen garden? If it is the former, the crone moon asks you to dig deeper and ask why.

What to Release: The Moon

Well Damn. What a mic-drop moment. We hear you, Crone Moon.

As the reflected light of the sun recedes it becomes more difficult to see, and we need to rely more on our own intuition and guiding light than on what we see around us. The release of the Crone asks us what we need to quietly set down before going further on our crone journey.

The moon card is all about symbolism and illusion—so there is a lot more going on here than I can write in a paragraph. When looking at the moon card the first thing I see is—a sun? Ok, not really. It is the moon with the face of a waxing crescent on it. The rays on the outside remind us that the light of the moon is actually all a reflection. The moon illuminates nothing directly, so nothing in the moonlight is as it seems. Then there are the many golden leaves? fireballs? thingys? dropping from the sky underneath it (Yods, they are called yods). There is a brown dog and a yellow wolf howling at the moon and a crustacean crawling out of the water up a path leading between animals. Don’t forget those two prison-looking towers on the sides. It all kind of reminds me of a fever dream. Well, that is on purpose. The Moon card symbolizes dreams, illusions, the subconscious and hidden self as well as intuition. It encourages us to release anxiety and fear and to trust our intuition over what we think we see.

What is this saying about what we should surrender before going further in the crone moon cycle? Right now, I’m struck by all the fever-dream type imagery being surrounded by the prison-looking towers. Are we locking down our dreams because they seem like too much? Are we locking away things that we just can’t explain to anyone else so we don’t even try to explain it to ourselves?The Crone Moon is smacking us on the hand and saying ‘stop it,’ especially if we are being driven out of anxiety and fear. Bring the crazy dreams with you even if you can’t explain them yet, and leave the anxiety and fear that made you feel like you have to keep your dreams under wraps. You don’t need to pursue the dreams yet—just stop hiding from them. This is the ultimate stop shoulding on yourself card and I can’t be happier that it came up in this position on our very first crone moon spread.

The Threshold: The Star Reversed

The half illumination and half dark of the Crone Moon is a liminal threshold moment. Everything in the cycle has led us here, and now it is our time to decide on how we will proceed.

When you look at The Star card the first thing you probably notice is that it is upside down. This is not an editing mistake. I pulled The Star card reversed, meaning it popped out of the deck upside down. A reversal gives the card a similar but slightly different meaning.

What do you see when you look at the star card? I see a big yellow star and get the impression of other large white stars before my eye is drawn to the naked lady in the center. She has one foot in the water and one on land and is pouring water both into the water and onto the land. The water on the land is forming rivulets, and there is a strange little bird on a tree behind her. This card echoes an earlier card in the deck, Temperance, which is known for one foot on land and one foot on water. The Star also comes immediately after The Tower—which is the ‘your whole world just shattered’ card. The Star is the first light you see after the destruction. It offers hope, renewal, and a reminder to trust in the process.

So what does this mean when we think thresholds and crone moon readings, especially when The Star is reversed? Most people think of reversed cards as negative, and at first when I saw The Star reversed here I cringed. Who wants to put a damper on hope? BUT in the threshold position, The Star reversed is kind of amazing. As we stand at the threshold of who we were and who we are becoming as a crone, The Star reversed doesn’t want us to just hang our hats on hope and renewal. She knows we’ve been there, done that, and bought the tshirt. She wants to remind us that that cynical attitude of ‘bought the tshirt’ has been hard won. Because we have weathered so many ‘tower moments’ our inner guidance is on point. We need to take steps to reconnect with it. While we stand at the threshold of the crone moon and of our crone’s journey, The Star reversed will help us illuminate which thresholds are worth crossing.

Intention: King of Swords Reversed

In the darkness of the Crone’s Moon, the distraction of the light melts away. It is time to rest, reflect, and recover. Our inner crone whispers to us about our intentions for when the light returns.

The King of Swords is not my favorite card—so I was glad this one came out reversed. I associate it with overly severe father figures and serial mansplainers. On the card we see a king in a flowing blue robe and purple cape sitting on a throne. He is holding a sword pointing up to the sky. There are clouds in the background and the throne has images of butterflies that look like they are made out of clouds.

Swords represent the element of air. They cover the realm of the mind, intellect, and communication. Cool. I’m a nerd. I should be totally down with that. Well…swords are double edged. They can tip towards all the good things intellect can bring or towards anxiety, manipulation, and abuse of power. This last part is why I don’t really like the King of Swords—to me, he represents the ultimate manipulator and power-hungry dude. Yeah, it isn’t a fair portrayal of the card because he also embodies mental clarity, intellect, fairness, logic, and reason. So, my read of the card is kind of reversed from the standard. I see the negatives on the upright King of Swords and therefore the positives are more associated with the reversal. Tarot is a language of symbols—figure out what the symbols mean to you!

What does the King of Swords Reversed mean to us while we are setting our intentions under the Crone Moon? The crone moon’s darkness invites us to stop shining a light on things. The King of Swords reversed puts an exclamation point on this. It reminds us that when we shine a light on intention setting and get so detailed that we need a magnifying glass to see it all—we only succeed in starting a fire and burning our intentions to the ground. Instead, give yourself space to be with your thoughts in the darkness. Think differently. Your normal mental processes aren’t going to work this time. Use your intuition. Your inner crone will whisper to you in the darkness. She won’t steer you wrong.

The Crone Speaks: Six of Swords

Your inner crone has seen all five Crone Moon cards, and she has something to say about it. Listen up. She doesn’t stutter.

I promise y’all I did not fake this card pull. The Six of Swords is MY card. It is my very favorite of the entire deck. It is a weird favorite, and I’ll explain why I love it in a sec. But for now, I’m wondering if this means your inner crone is telling you to listen to me? I know it means mine is screaming out for me to listen to myself.

The Six of Swords features a man poling a boat across a lake. The boat has a child and a figure in a cloak (I’m assuming the mother) in it. There are six swords standing upright in the boat hemming in the passengers but not causing the boat to leak. The water on the right side is choppy, but they are going away from it to the clear still water on the left.

Remember from above that swords are about the mind intellect and communication, and that they are double edged? Well, this card represents emerging safely from a very anxious and challenging period. When it shows up we should think about where in our lives we are going through transitions or in need of healing, release, and recovery.

The Six of Swords is the whole reason I got into tarot and the woo. I saw what turned out to be a ‘misread’ imaging report on my patient portal. It said the cancer I thought was in remission was metastatic to my lungs. It was a holiday weekend, and I couldn’t talk to my doctor. I was alone in a city away from friends and family. I was in a weird headspace. So I did what any person with a repressed crone screaming to get out would do in that situation. I dyed my hair purple. I’d always been curious about tarot and I figured if I was ever going to get a reading, now was the time. I never told the reader what was going on with my health. But when she flipped over the Six of Swords she said “You will have safe passage.” She said she was confused because the cards around it had to do with health issues. When I told her more, she was adamant that my cancer would not be terminal and kept saying “You will have safe passage.” I came back to her the next day, paid for a reading, but spent the time picking her brain to learn more. She gave me my first oracle deck and set me down this path that has given me spiritual and emotional “safe passage.” Later I found out she was right about my physical safe passage too. I don’t have metastatic cancer. The imaging report was a misread. I had safe passage. She didn’t predict the future. I obviously didn’t rely on the woo for my treatment—and nobody ever should. But she still gave me comfort in a time of crisis and led me to a whole new way of being in the world.

Enough about me. Where in your life do you need or are you having safe passage? Are you navigating choppy waters or emerging from them? Are you in transition now? The crone’s message for this cycle is to think about what it means to you to find safe passage. Find all the times that you came through safely. Do what you can to help others have safe passage as well.

Putting It All Together:

We just took a deep dive into each card, but the magic happens when we look at them in relation to each other, to the Pisces Crone Moon, and to our own crone journey.

No matter where we look, we are getting the same message.

It is a story about moving our focus inward. We are bad-ass crones who need to celebrate the amazing things we do. But after hi-fiving ourselves and before we dive back into the daily grind, let’s pause and examine our emotional cup. Has it dried up, is it peacefully flowing, or is it a tsunami in the making? I bet the answer has a lot to do with how much we’ve been shoulding ourselves. Have we bought into the shoulds so much that we now have no idea what we feel or think? Stop it. Release the fear and anxiety that keep you from admitting your dreams to yourself. As we reconnect with our inner crone, she will guide us to the dreams worth pursuing. In fact, the more we strive to pin down a dream or intention right now, the further away it will get. And Pisces, the dreamy, intuitive, emotional water sign, is the perfect guide for this leg of the journey. Pisces never forces. It dissolves and flows. Luckily, the inner crone has already sent you a boat and she will whisper to you on the ride.

Journal Prompts

The crone does not assign homework. But if you want to go deeper, here are some questions worth sitting with.

• What dream have you been keeping locked in your own prison towers? What would it feel like to stop hiding from it? Not pursue it yet, just stop hiding from it.

• What intention are you over-illuminating with a magnifying glass when you should just let it be a whisper?

• Where in your life do you need safe passage right now, and what would it feel like to trust that it is coming?

Which card in this reading spoke to you, and why do you think it found you? Tell me in the comments.

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The throne isn’t fancy or ornate. It looks like it has been thrifted—several times. The red velvet is worn, and the once thick cushion has flattened in front from the many butts that have appreciated it over the years. It is just the right size to sit cross legged with a backpack next to you while you type on a laptop or to curl up with a good book and your Tower of London Fog Tea.

The throne is positioned next to a bookcase covered in tarot cards and fliers for bands and events. It has a front-row view of the shop’s “haunted museum” featuring porcelain dolls who seem to always be staring at you, a Victorian era little boy’s sailor suit, animal bones, and lots of pictures of “ghosts” aka small orbs on pictures that are likely just dust.

The walls and ceilings are black with lighting that is somehow both creepy and friendly. The only pops of color in the shop are the red doors, red velvet chairs, the floor to ceiling bookshelves on one wall, and the subtly placed rainbow flags to signal all are welcome. Despite the darkness, the place feels comfy cozy. It is exactly my kind of nerdiness and audacity.

Whenever I sink into my throne’s worn-out cushioning, I feel myself immediately exhale and unclench things I didn’t even realize were clenched. During life’s stressful moments, I close my eyes and pretend I am sitting on this throne and I start counting down the days until I can perch atop it again.

Yes, this throne is in a shared space. Yes, the shared space is a quirky coffee shop in a college-town 40 miles away from my home. Yes, I am old enough to be the mother of all the students who frequent the shop. Yes, when the students do notice me (invisibility is the crone’s best superpower) they probably assume I am one of the professors at their school.

They are partly right. I am a professor…of medicine…in two different medical schools about 40 miles away.

The first time I came here, I felt so awkward I almost walked right back out. I was wearing a brightly colored dress that was almost blinding against the black of the shop. I felt endlessly uncool despite the purple highlights in my hair that were too edgy for my day job as a geriatrician. As I waited for my drink, I tentatively explored the museum and the kitschy items for sale.

Then, I sat on the chair.

I call it a chair because I had not yet embarked on my journey to cronedom and claimed it as my rightful throne.

The chair enveloped me like a warm hug. It is what brought me back to the coffee shop nearly weekly. It was during one of those many visits to the chair that my crone awakening began.

I was cuddled up in my soon-to-be throne, cackling with glee as I read a book about embracing your crone era and trying to determine your crone personality.

Before even finishing the first chapter, it hit me like Baba Yaga’s flying mortar and pestle, my inner crone had already emerged.

My crone is pretty bad ass.

My crone is the one who kept bringing me back here. She is the one who claimed the chair as her rightful throne.

She had always been with me, but she had been silenced since birth by internalized societal expectations, by the drive to prove my worth through achievement, and by compulsively caring for everyone but myself.

After decades of disuse, her voice is shaky and inconsistent. She surprises me at times with her level of IDGAF. But not nearly as much as she surprises those around me who are used to the version of me before the mask started to slip. The version of me that kept the crone bound and gagged in the depths of my subconscious.

As I dove further into the crone book, I reached the chapter on crone clothing and makeup. I suddenly felt compelled to change my outsides to match my new crone insides. I was inspired by a brief profile of Endora from Bewitched. Memories of her big beautiful blue eye makeup, colorful caftans, and total disdain for the banal came flooding back.

On my way home, I bought all new bright eye makeup and eagerly applied it. Instead of looking chic like Endora, I wound up with an eye infection and looking like Sloth from the Goonies. It turns out my crone style is more ‘Hey You Guys’ than bold blue eyes. But true cronehood is more than skin [infection] deep.

Zoom ahead about 3 months. Today, I am sitting atop my throne, makeup-less, wearing my lighted reading glasses, and writing this post. As I place my tea on the bookshelf next to me, the barista sweeping the floor pauses, leans on her broom and compliments my glasses—again. She does this each time I am here. I’m not sure if she recognizes me, but she is consistent in her love for my combo headlight/glasses. Crones can be visible and invisible at the same time.

Today happens to be the first time I have been in the coffee shop in the light of day. I normally come here in the evenings. Despite being a crone at heart, I am still a mother who can only escape once a week after bedtime.

The daytime clientele is different than the evening group. There is a mother ordering coffee while her 4-year-old daughter dances to The Cure. There is a group of “boys” in their upper 20s who stopped here on their way to tube on the nearby river. There is a man playing Magic the Gathering at a table next to me telling his friend that he is taking his dad to the neurologist tomorrow to be evaluated for dementia.

But by far, the most interesting clientele to me, are the women of a certain age.

As a geriatrician—an internal medicine doctor specializing in the care of older adults—observation, recognizing subtlety, and identifying and assisting in life-transitions are my superpowers. Couple this with my crone-invisibility-power and I’m practically a spy in the making. Which is why I can’t stop watching the women of a certain age who keep walking through the door.

Unlike the college kids, these women come in alone. Some have downcast eyes, hunched shoulders, and only speak in a whisper. Others have shifty eyes, are jumpy, and laugh just a little too loudly and uncomfortably. All appear to deeply desire and to fear eye contact at the same time. I recognize their loneliness, their anxiety—and sometimes the fact that they should really be using a cane.

I see they are at a threshold, not just the one to the haunted museum, and they are trying to decide if they are willing and able to cross it. They are trying to (re)discover themselves. They don’t feel like they belong here, and they probably feel that way in their regular life too. Their longing to enjoy this space, explore, and express their interest is just as palpable as the weight of the thousands of shoulds weighing them down. “I shouldn’t be here because I’m…too old…a mom…a professional…dressed wrong…don’t know enough about it...etc.”

I’ve been there too.

My crone is still trying to teach me to stop shoulding all over myself.

I do my best to catch their eyes and smile. Some see me and smile back. All but one scuttle away after picking up their order. She strides through the threshold of the museum confidently and examines everything in it. She eventually settles at a table with her Poison Apple Cider and pulls out her crocheting. We smile at each other. Crones recognize other crones. She sits until she finishes a granny square with a huge purple daisy in the middle, gathers her stuff, smiles at me again, and walks out the door.

Whether you have stepped into your crone power or not, this Substack is a place to explore this misunderstood and underappreciated era in life. Subscribe to walk through the threshold with me. Claim your crone powers. Every crone deserves a throne of her own.

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