The adult community education catalog came in the mail. I’ve always skimmed it thinking, someday. Well, I retired two days ago. Someday is today.
I rip to the page for water aerobics, take down the details, and sign up. Y’all know how much I wanted to do water aerobics in retirement (link to post here).
Then I slowly peruse the other courses. I think about all the times people have asked me about my hobbies or what I like to do for fun. How each time my face burns with embarrassment and shame when I don’t have an answer for them.
In my early twenties I traded the luxury of hobbies and free time for medical training. Things have gotten even more bleak since that time as the job and family responsibilities ramped up.
The catalog takes on more meaning than just a list of courses offered by local professionals using their side hustle to give back to the community.
I find myself asking who am I? What is my hobby?
Is it cooking? None of the many baking or ethnic cooking classes appeal.
Is it sports? Who am I kidding. I was the kid who made myself throw up so I wouldn’t have to go to softball practice.
Is it travel? Well, yes, but not on a bus full of bored older adults headed downtown to listen to someone ramble about The Alamo. Maybe if we lived close to a casino, I could be one of those ladies who plays the slots…
I definitely won’t find my hobby in one of the many personal finance or how to use Microsoft Office classes.
A writing class looks cool. So I sign up. As you’ve probably noticed here, I need professional help.
What about art? There are like 50 different watercolor classes. Weird. I wish they had crochet or knitting for beginners. Darn. Not the kind of darn where you mend socks, but I may have signed up for a darning class if they offered it.
Then, buried at the bottom of the list, I found Gemstones and Lapidary arts. Make a cabochon. What the heck is that? I find myself sounding out the words la-pi-dar-y and ca-bo-chon. Is that right? I know what gemstones are though.
My mind flashes to a memory being 10 years old and dragging my mom to a gem and mineral show. She put up with me looking at all the beautiful rocks for hours. Probably in an effort to kill time, she entered a door prize raffle. When we got home, there were multiple messages on our answering machine. She’d won the Grand Prize, and they needed her to come pick it up--NOW.
We went back to the show and learned the prize was a gigantic purple amethyst geode. It is still in the front entryway of their home. To this day, it is one of the prettiest ones I have seen. Whenever I see it, I’m reminded of the show and my long-suppressed interest in gems and crystals.
Remembering the joy the show brought mini-me, I decided to sign up for the class, not knowing what I was getting into. I figured what the heck. It is only 3 classes, and it starts in 4 months. Let’s do it.
While waiting for the class, I started going to local gem and crystal shops. I also started carrying some pocket stones with me as pretty fidgets. The stones caught my daughter’s attention. Apparently, an interest in gems and crystals runs in the family.
My interest grew over the 4-month wait, and so did my daughter’s. So I decided to take her to a gigantic crystal shop I’d heard about that was 90 miles away. It was a fun girls day trip.
While there, she ran from polished stone to polished stone. Each prettier than the last. The stream of “mom, look at this one!. No look at this one!” is amusing. After almost two hours of looking around, we decided to check out the small event center that was next door.
The center was hosting a small scale craft and gem show like the one I went to with my mom. As we walked through the front door, we signed up for the door prize raffle.
As we perused the vendors, we came across one that has a small table of houses on chicken legs. BABA YAGA!!! As you know, I love this OG Crone. I stopped and talked to the vendor about it, and she was shocked I knew who Baba Yaga was. I told her about Crone Powers and how I profiled Baba Yaga in my first Crone Files.
The vendor looked at me, and she said, “I know it is a little far from here, but there is a coffee shop you may like.”
She went on to talk about MY coffee shop. The one where I write the majority of these posts.
When recognition hit me, I stopped her and told her my very first post was about that place, and I called it The Crone’s Throne. She laughed and said she knew exactly which chair I was talking about.
As we talked, my daughter was intrigued, but didn’t truly understand what she was hearing. She helped me pick which Baba Yaga house to buy, and we left to go back to the rock shop.
After much deliberation in the shop, she picked the crystal she wanted to take home. As we checked out, we entered another raffle for a shop gift certificate, and then we drove the 90 miles home.
My lapidary arts class started a week later.
I know y’all have been on the edge of your seats wondering what lapidary arts are.
It is rock cutting, shaping, and polishing.
Cabochon making is taking a slab of stone, cutting it to size, sanding it into shape, and polishing it. Cabochons are the flat stones used in jewelry making. If you are having a hard time picturing them, think of the big gaudy turquoise stones on belts, etc. Cabochons aren’t all that big or ostentatious, but you get the picture.
I arrived at the class just on time, which means late in the world of retired adult classes. I should have remembered this from water aerobics.
By the time I got there, everyone had picked their stones from a big tub. My classmates had a kaleidoscope of blues, purples, pinks, and creams. All that was left for me were some dusty brown stones. The most interesting one had white spots all over it, so I picked it. I cursed myself for being the last one to class.
The teachers walked us through how to draw the shape of our cabochon on the stone and how to draw guidelines for where to cut with the table saw. I’m sure the saw has a fancier name than that, but that is essentially what it was.
Everyone kept their fingers. I was legit terrified someone (me) would slip.
Every time I use the saw in class, I think of this scene from Weird Al UHF.
Luckily, there is a trick to keep beginner fingers out of the way of sanders used to finish shaping and polishing the stones.
It’s wax. Hot wax and dowels. We put the stones on the outside of a wax warmer to heat them up. After about five minutes, we dip a dowel in the wax, flip the stone over, and stick the dowel to the hot side of the stone. We let it set and then hold onto the dowel while we grind away and shape the stone.
Remember this process. It becomes important later.
The three-hour class flew by. I had just gotten into the groove of shaping my brown rock when it ended. The stone was having hints of being cooler than I thought it would. And as it got more polished, I started to swear I’d seen stones like it before.
But time was up, and I’d have to wait until next week to finish it up.
By week two I was hooked on lapidary arts. Could this be a new hobby?
I finished my first rock and realized—it is an Ocean Jasper. How did I not realize that when I started? Ocean Jaspers are my favorite. I have one that I’ve been carrying in my pocket for months. The one I polished is browner than most which is why I didn’t immediately recognize it for what it was.
I took it home, and wire mounted it before my last class. I now have a totally handmade ocean jasper necklace. Yay!
During the third and final class, I was told I was promoted from beginner to intermediate.
I excitedly picked out a cooler stone from the intermediate bucket. It was green and gold and super cool. Now that I was an intermediate, I could pick a different shape and size. I was so excited. I went to the table saw and very carefully cut it out. Then came the wax…
The instructor helped me put the dowel on. As soon as I started sanding, the dowel popped off. Okay. No big deal. We tried again. It popped off again.
The third time, I walked over to the stone on the wax warmer. I went to feel it to see how hot it was and if it was ready for the dowel.
Fucker was HOT! Hotter than touching a pan right out of the oven.
I flinched. The stone was so hot it stuck to my thumb for a sec. Just long enough that when it fell off, it fell into the pot of wax with a big splat.
The instructor and I fished for about 30 seconds before we could get it out of the wax pot. The green stone was completely covered in red wax. The instructor had been doing this for years and said he’d never seen anything like it.
Whoops!
The trick to getting the wax off is putting the stones into the freezer. We did that. None of the wax would come off.
The instructor said he’d try to get the wax off for me during our week hiatus before the next class.
I was so embarrassed, but also hopeful. It was a really cool stone and I can’t wait to work on it.
During the last class I got an email.
I’d won the door prize raffle at the event center next to the gem store. It was an amethyst pendant.
I used what would have been class time the next week to head back to the store to pick up my prize. While there, I pulled up the email to show them I won. And…I found another raffle win notification email from them.
I’d won the gift card door prize too.
I hear myself echoing my mom from years ago, “I never win anything?”
How did I win twice on the same day? I think it is the universe telling me I should get deeper into lapidary arts.
I left with two more cool rocks and an amethyst pendant. I thought about buying a lottery ticket too, but I settled on signing up for the rest of the lapidary arts classes through the end of the year.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE, I HAVE A HOBBY!
Today, I head back for the next lapidary class after the wax fiasco. Wish me luck with getting all the red wax off and diving into a new hobby.
If you know me in real life, be ready to start seeing clunky gemstone jewelry everywhere.
The content on Crone Powers is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice. I am a doctor, but I AM NOT YOUR DOCTOR. Always consult your medical and mental health professionals before ADDING—NEVER SUBSTITUTING—spiritual modalities to your care. Remember, woo only works when you do the work.
The views and opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent those of my employer or any institution with which I am affiliated.